Monday, August 12, 2013 ♥
The long weekend is ending. sighs.
This week was a pretty short week with 4 days break. Although I didn't spend any time during these days studying, which I do have a little regret, I still enjoyed this break from work. I don't regret going out with those people I had lunches with. It was pretty amazing that I woke up earlier without setting alarms, so that I can be on time to meet them as well. Even though there were short period of times of my little awkwardness cos of my like for comfort in my little bubble... it was overall quite enjoyable.
This week.. I learnt some more things. Hopefully, I will keep them close to heart and bear them in mind always. On Tuesday, I was so frustrated with some things and some people at work that I had such terrible headache with shoulder and neck pain. One kind dr explained to me that it was 'tension headache' and I needed muscle relaxant. In the end what cured my pain temporarily was some bit of crying.. and then I went home and was still in pain - some time of ranting and complaining to my mum.
My friend sent me an audio and another friend sent me a video. The audio was entitled "This is water". The main gist of it was like a reminder that we are merely fishes living in the water, and that "this is water" is how we can choose to see it. Kinda like it is merely a fact and that we do no really need to attach emotions to it, or to be too affected by it. The video was introducing two types of personalities. One works with the people, the other works against other people. It advises us how we can actually choose the be with different people and as a result change how our lives can be. I think it also shows how we need to be able to differentiate what other people's opinions between what we are. Cos other's negative opinion can actually result in negative change in us too.
During yesterday's yoga lesson. We did the kaplapati breath again. And this time, he told us to listen to the sounds outside us, around us and observe them. After that, listen to yourself. At first, all that I felt I was thinking was how my heart rate was going.. how my breath was like.. then wondering about some things I was thinking about work etc.. and then back to my breath.. and suddenly I seem to realise even more clearly what my friends are trying to tell me.
That the surroundings are the surroundings.
And it is true what two drs told me of their opinions of me, which was same as what my mum told of me - that I have too much feeling about things. Kinda like I get easily emotionally attached on things. Also it's also like I have this magnified feelings kinda, which gets on top of my face easily as well. And things affect me easily. I react quickly. And that reaction always tend to be a little exaggerated, and based on some of my own assumptions etc.
And the main thing here is that my frens have always been trying to show me that I can actually be happier. Yes I will always have that baggage on me on my shoulders. But the attitude towards it, the feelings tied to it, I can actually get to choose. I can still be happy. I can still choose to face it bravely and tell myself that yes, they are merely things for me to deal, they are tough - but I can approach them with positivity and strength. And I seriously don't have to let myself suffer under things that people do, and under what other people say.
Remember what my yoga teacher said? "Do your best, and your best will do the rest."
Ok. So yep.
Tmr I shall dig out my copy of bonita and start reading again. And tmr I shall bring my head low, and start afresh.
Remember ac's motto? "The best is yet to be."
Tmr shall be a better me.
Have faith I guess. I think it will always be a challenge, to keep positive, to not let all the problems and negativity around me affect and turn me downslope again. As long as I continue to have faith in me and pull thr.. and listen more to what my heart is saying, I believe I can be a better and stronger me.
Ganbatte! =)
Maybe.. one day i'll be able to achieve this..? who knows.. haha.
♥reflected @ 1:15 AM
