reflections

Friday, December 29, 2006 ♥

YEAH!

ok so actually i didn't want to blog.. but well since i have been online since this morning, and i haven't blog for a while.. might as well.

so i changed things a bit..changed the song using a new way.. =)

hmmms.. life a bit the boring these days..a bit melancholic also esp when i got the time to let my mind wander...

sians.

so today's my sis's prom.
and busy busy busy. just now thought i was so free...was watching youtube stuffs somemore..

anyway.here's smth!

=) esp bcos got ming dao singing solo part.. haha so niceee

it's from tian shi qing ren. been watching it too..

the new song on my blog also fr 183 club. the song's from ai qing mo fa shi.

so niceeee!

=)

♥reflected @ 3:31 PM

Friday, December 22, 2006 ♥

yesterday i couldn't sleep again. but i did. listening to my mp3 and forgetting to switch it off until there's no battery left this morning. again.

after watching prison break. and adding ppl into friendster. didn't and couldn't do anything else so i decided to go sleep.

and i was feeling damn frustrated. damn frustrated. thinking about quite a lot of stuffs but actually wasn't a lot.

anyway.

i re-read the thing mrs ong gave us on our baccaulaureate. the one where everyone was supposed to write something about everyone else. it is quite strange to realise, esp only now, that every one person in my class is different, unique and a bit eccentric in their own ways. and i realised even more about tt when i was looking at e frenster stuff. it's like i discovered that i actually dunno much about each and every person in my class, even though i wanted to do so.

and that. i am quite a solemn hmm. rather, a serious person at times. i take every part of my life quite seriously, everything that i do seriously. maybe too serious at times. and i wonder that's gd or bad. maybe it's bad cos i was surrounded by loads of ppl who take things not seriously at all, or maybe they do but they just show a 'heck care' front. still.

you may think that you noe this person, but actually you do not. you may think that you dunno this person, but actually you do. it's like you think you dunno a person because you think you only noe one kind of him, but actually you do, cos you noe that there's more to him, diff kinds of him.

hmm. a bit confusing, but at least i noe wat i'm typing.

maybe i'm not very glad to have been in my class, or rather, have all those ppl in my class, but i am grateful. i am grateful to have known all of them, whether little or much abt them. i admit tt i have been blinded,too blinded actually, to realise there are so many other ppl ard me and never ventured out to noe each and everyone of them. but i'm grateful to have been in my class. cos from these 2 yrs, there are lessons learnt.

i treasure every single part, every single person that has walked into my life. whether it was gd or bad. i've learnt smth more abt life. and tt's wat i think is the path of growth.

i may still be naive and childish at times. but still. tt's part of me.

anyway.

yesterday night, i couldn't sleep. i cried about the regrets in my life again.
but at least i rethought about them, and learnt more things. sometimes i dun think tt ppl shld put away their past completely. instead i want to keep in mind abt everything. and i hope, never to make same mistakes again.

♥reflected @ 10:13 AM

Thursday, December 14, 2006 ♥

i'm back.

yup so dental. was erm quite scary. like how old i am but i'm still a bit afraid when i lay there looking at the dentist checking my teeth. in the end. all was well.

and guess wat.

i pierced my ears le. with my sister. at chinatown. and my parents brought us there. after the dental. and my sis wanted me to go first. so yup.

it was damn painful can. damn painful lor. i dun understand how come ppl can tell me it's like ant bite. it's damn pain. and then i can't tell my sis that, cos she will be scared away by me. so both of us got our ears pierced by tt guy in the jewellery shop who gave us alcohol wipes. alcohol wipes can. how come xiangning can get alcohol in a bottle and i get alcohol wipes.
so i got a silver supposedly heart shaped stud which actually looks like a circle, while sis got a gold star stud. nice.

and it still kinda feels painful now.

♥reflected @ 6:55 PM

♥

last night. cldn't really go into slp. ended up listening to my mp3 until i fell asleep which was damn annoying cos when i woke up this morning the mp3 is still on. ie. the bat lost one bar. ie. the mp3 continued playing songs while i was sleeping. which was crap.

so this morning i woke up listening to my parents and bro leaving the house, realising that i didn't turn off my phone and the mp3 player. so my eyes were open. i stared into the ceiling, thinking whether i shld get up or go back to sleep, and if i get up, what i shld do.

so in the end i got up. and the thing is immediately when i woke up and started moving. i felt DAMN sad. damn sad.

damn sad.

ok. so. why is life full of regrets?
and y do i noe it and yet still can't do anything about it. it's like watching smth i like so much passing me by just like tt and disappear. not once. but twice. passing me just like tt. when it seemed like so close. yet. so far. so far. it depends on the thing itself isn't it.
and even tho there might be still a chance now. but it's as if i can see it. forsee that it wld be the same. i wld feel damn sad again. and no matter how much i try to be brave and act that nothing happened, i wld cry. i wld cry again for all the regrets in my life. and maybe the same thing will keep happening. over and over again. so everytime i cry i wld think of all the past, every single regret i had. and i bet tmr the scene wld happen.again.

tt jus sux rite? rite.

anyway.

let's talk abt this wk. on monday me and my sis went to sentosa for my class outing. not exactly class cos only 3 girls turned up and some guys. organized by andrew and jithra.
walked ard in vivo first and then went to sentosa siloso beach. damn bad i couldn't get into the water cos i was looking so forward to do so cos last yr i didn't. too bad lors.
and damn shit i didn't bring my camera along to zap photos. later, we played some sports and ultimate frisbee against another group of ppl there who were super 'excited' in the game.
me and sis left earlier.. so yup. didn't get to see the sun set. hmm. received my gigantic xmas prez from andrew..
and my sis keep yaking at my ear and made me feel super guilty. but luckily i got back my temporal super happy feeling yesterday night when i discovered stuffs.

on tuesday..hmm nothing much happened. watched i robot on rented vcd.

yesterday morning busy searching the net for jobs..and then rushed to meet sabbie and aaron at clementi. and then went to andrew's house. had the same feeling with sabbie at first. tt it felt kinda wierd. she said cos it's like suddenly getting to see the person in real life kinda thing. well.... not exactly the same as me.
but it got on quite ok ba. too bad andrew's going into ns tomorrow.

damn bad.

Incubus- Drive
Sometimes I feel the fear of uncertainty stinging clear
And I cant help but ask myself how much I'll let the fear take the wheel and
steer
It's driven me before it seems to have a vague
Haunting mass appeal
Lately I'm beginning to find that I should be the one behind the wheel
Whatever tomorrow brings I'll be there
With open arms and open eyes yeah
Whatever tomorrow brings I'll be there I'll be there
So if I decide to waiver my chance to be one of the hive
Will I choose water over wine and hold my own and drive, oh oh
It's driven me before, it seems to be the way
That everyone else get around
Lately, I'm beginning to find that when I drive myself, my light is found
Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there
With open arms and open eyes yeah
Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there, I'll be there
Would you choose water over wine
Hold the wheel and drive
Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there
With open arms and open eyes yeah
Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there, I'll be there

hopefully every tmr is gd.
and i finally realised when i knew of this song. i heard it only once. long time ago. once. on the radio 987fm. once. and it stuck into my head but hidden.
i damn like the song. i realised.

anyway. later i have dental appointment.

♥reflected @ 11:01 AM

Thursday, December 07, 2006 ♥

i still sick mans. like all the phlegm stuck down my throat and no matter how i cough it refuses to come out.

and so tuesday was prom at ritz carlton. and it was fine i guess. the food was okay. took a lot of picts.
but i don't think the ambience was good enough, and the singing couldn't rock the entire ballroom.
but there were stuffs that made me happy and tt was a bit enough i guess.
and one thing was that i managed to encourage our entire table to do the yam seng thing. and then a few other tables did the same thing later.
the second thing was that i managed to blow a candle in the middle table. haha.
see.
little things like that make me happy.

so really. i dun have much to say abt prom.
here's a pict anyway.

anyway, i have just read a book. and i dun like it.
it's by danielle steel. titled: second chance.

the book is about a woman called fiona monaghan who is some editor-in chief for some fashion magazine and leads a super packed, busy, exciting, eccentric yet stable life on her own and alone. reason being she has a bad childhood and stuffs. and one day this fella called john anderson enters her life. and they fall in love with each other. so they get married after the poor girl gave in all her trust. but end up messing up their own lives. and so the guy gave up and divorced her. so the poor girl suffered so much and gave up everything in her life.
and in the end. they got married again, she have him a second chance, because they really love each other a lot.

and this is wat i dun like. the ending.
he certainly doesn't deserve her at all, and definitely no second chance. plus the beginnings of the book was quite hmm. boring. the only part that caught me was the part where she broke down.

i think she's real good at writing sad stories. like the house on hope street. and johnny angel. they are better books i think.

and now my attention's diverted to prison break.

cough.

♥reflected @ 8:27 PM

Tuesday, December 05, 2006 ♥

and today.

i'm still sick.. coughing. and i sound bad.
:(

and later in the evening is our prom night.

and yesterday.

i dyed my hair.

haha. yep. i used blonde and copper mixed. and the result.. can't really be seen in white light cos my hair was super black.

i hope the colour can still be seen tho.
i haven't decided wat i shld do to my hair for later on.

hmms.

♥reflected @ 8:59 AM

Sunday, December 03, 2006 ♥

ok so.

after almost one week of going out entire days and sleeping not early, i'm now sick.

started sneezing then yesterday. i had a sore throat. and last night had a fever.

having a fever while trying to sleep sorta feels wierd.

it's as if u're on dreamyland and everything is so groggy or smth.

but still. being sick isn't fun.

♥reflected @ 10:15 AM