Wednesday, August 31, 2005 ♥
i just read preserveourname.blogspot.com. and realized that there has been a lot, a lot going on, since the last time i talked to zixian. i was shocked, truthfully, by the seriousness of the issue, and how far zixian had went to pursue the idea of keeping nanhua sec as not nanhua high. she sent mails to mrs lim, mr foo and mr loh. and written to both straits times and newpaper.
and all has come to an end.
admist all my confusion and unawareness, busyiness and inability to keep up with news regarding the nanhua stuff, it has ended.
and i'm also quite insulted by hearing that 4/3 has be 'hated' by someone becos of these issues going on.
i admire zixian's strong perserverance and determination.
but i think that too much perseverance isn't good. when perseverance becomes so strong it levels up to being stubborn. stubborn means: obstinate or persistent.
i think that's why the tchers or some ppl may be offended or think that zixian was rude and so on.
I appreciate all zixian has done. I thank her for leading the number of ppl who signed the petition and did what she thought shld be done, even if i do not entirely support every single thing she did.
some words were said before a lot of thinking could be done, and everyone makes this mistake.
i do look up to zixian for her strong feelings for everything she's done, been thr. whether school, roots and all.
I agree to one person's statement at the other blog. freedom of speech exists.BUT there are limitations. sometimes, there are so much limitations, the 'freedom' maybe diminished. we cannot continuously think that we shld have freedom and continously demand our rights and so on. this was one of the reasons i was very unhappy with my sister last year, cos her teacher influenced her so much, every time she's talking abt veing freedom to do this and that, tt it's her rights etc. which made me fed up and i nearly wrote a letter to her tcher. but i didn't. cos i knew that i don't need to do that. she will understand when it's time. and i'm glad she didn't with-hold that all the way till now. i'll be fed-up if she did.
all these stuff. it's really complicated in my point of view. every one has their own views.
i visited the nh alumni website thr. the preservename blog. i realised that alumni members don't really include us. those who hold more respect and stuff are those who are so much older. so very much older. our existence as 'alumni' won't matter to the school much, and our words won't give a large influence. besides,there are many people who don't mind the changing of name issue, there are some who can't be bothered. it doesn't matter much to a lot. it's just a name. wat's impt is the students.their studies, behavior, character etc.we'll just wait for next year's n following years' o level results.we'll see.we just see each new generation of nh students are like. then ppl will judge by themselves, whether our school motto has been upheld through the years, whether our schl is worth sap, autonomous and so on. i dislike how the word high might become a stereotyping tool, and differentiate wat a top sap schl is. we dun need to tell ppl the schl's gd thr names. we show it. thr our results. thr our culture and so on. maybe. names does have an impact. a first impression and lasting effect. but tt won't mean tt, being called sec means u r lower grade schl, or perhaps a neighbourhood schl? all schools try achieve excellence and the best in their students. don't they?
wateva larh. i heck care with all these stuff liao. nanhua is history too. in future i'll see whether it is worth remembering.but one may be so caught up with life, like me, i dun even have chance to care and bother not say do something.
____________________________
like i said: we do our best before destiny unfolds itself. we never know what will really happen anyway...
well i got this thought after watching THE LAST SAMURAI again.
i still think it's the best movie i ever watched.
i can watch it 1000+ times and still think it's good, still cry at the parts which demand my respect (not Pity). it's really good. it's great. (my sis rented the vcd from her school)
_______________________
today's a mess for me too.. couldn't control my actions clearly and all.
+ i had a very terrible headache.
have to stop here. my dad's yelling again
late liaoz
♥reflected @ 11:20 PM
Monday, August 29, 2005 ♥
***~~~~i shall not look back. neither shall i forward. i shall let life lead me where it wants to....~~~~***
I'm going to promise myself that i am never ever going to shed a single tear in front of my classmates again, never ever show any unhappiness or anger i feel....
damnation.
stupid pw. stupid eom.
i did my eom 1st draft two weeks ago and handed it up last monday, did the 2nd draft last saturday. and yesterday xiangning called me and told me that she is doing hers on a book called photosynthesis. which is the same as my book. just that hers is the 6th edition whereas mine is the 4th edition. which is bad. furthermore, she is doing the same chapters as me. her book has more additional info and if she uses that, it is going to contradict my eom, and show that i haven't gone to find the newest edition book. which is terrible.
so we decided we shall hand both our eoms up to the teacher and let her decide. yet she says we are equally good. which is terrible to me. bcos my first draft was shit, and here someone else's first draft is as good as my 2nd draft.
damn it.
in the end xiangning decided she shall do another one.
*breathe in* haiz.
here's a pict of the guitar syf ...
♥reflected @ 11:48 AM
Thursday, August 25, 2005 ♥
HAiz
I received a call from zi xian the moment i came out of the bathroom after my bath.
She told me that Mr Foo wants to change Nan Hua Secondary School to Nan Hua High. She's very anxious, unhappy and upset about it.
I don't see how, by changing the name of the school to smth smth high is going to make the schl better or anything. but without knowing much about the issue,and about why Mr Foo wants to change the school's name, i can't really say much.
just that nan huarians, past and present, should do their part and sign the petition created by zi xian to help preserve nhss name.
Preserve Nan Hua's Name Petition
http://www.PetitionOnline.com/savenh/petition.html
i miss the schl, not the environment and all, but 4/3, friends, teachers and the building itself. but when i went back the last few times, i found it so much foreign to me, i dun have the excitement to go back to nan hua again. mm...well, i'm sure many people, most people feel that whether nh wants to change its name or not is not of our business, because, we are already out of the school and also don't care so much about being an alumni member and stuff. but nevertheless, we should understand how some others feel strongly about the issue, against the changing of name and support the petition.
Dear Zixian:
Calm down. We can't really do much at this moment of time, because it's not under our control, and we are no longer in nan hua, everyone is spreaded around the whole world. Besides not many share the same thinking and agrees with you. If Mr Foo decidedly thinks that by changing the school name into nh high, will boost its reputation and make nh become a school like for eg. chinese high,and intends to do that, we can't do much except watch the school go into maybe degradation and all.
I don't believe nh thinks a much of us, and the alumni. nhss is not a school like for eg. the acs schools. they have a very strong alumni, the old ac boys and all.
the fact that mr foo wants nh to become a well-known school and is determined to make the school become one, after so much stuff(eg. inviting our pm to 88 dinner, nh mascot, higher technology like hand held comps for students and watever else) is not something we can change.
he can go ahead make any change he wants, then in the end he's going to be responsible for how better or worse the school has become. we don't have much say in it. he either rises or falls. it's his own doing.
certainly, we can't just sit, look at what he's going to do with disapproval, and do nothing. we can only do our best.
i've tried sending e-mails to all 4/3 and some other nanhuarians to get them to sign the petition.
so. other than that. i noe you are very unhappy and upset about the issue, and is also determined to do something about it. but do keep calm yah?
____________________________________________________
Today, my dad's car is spoilt and still is, so i had to go home myself. i left school about 6+, and reached jurong west about 6.45+. i decided to walk about the market and pasam malam a bit then walk home.
I saw like how many,4, stalls, all selling Ramly Burgers...that reminded me
Next year will be ACJC's fun-o-rama, and yar pple pls do help me and buy the tickets from me. you have a long john voucher along with it. $10 one set.
each class has to set up two stalls, one games and one food. and an idea of selling ramly burgers came along...the class had quite some fun discussing about what to sell yesterday.
dun especially like school fun fairs and all. cos they are set up by students. which is kinda not good, may be messy and all...fun fairs also cost a lot of money. like a normal cup of drink can cost about 1 outside but 2 in the fair. so you spent 10 bucks for the tickets, go to the fair and find out that they are not enough for you. tt's why pple say tt no one shld go with just a single $10 set of tickets. (well, esp. it's acjc).
we've got to sell tickets 3 times. each time about 10, in total 30, each cost $10, total one person $3000. and each stall is supposed to earn more than thousand dollars.
they tell us to sell to friends, relatives and family members. but hallo??? i dun have much frens willing to buy just one 10 bucks ticket, i dun think there's any; i haven't seen my relatives since chinese new year, i never ever ask them to donate money for donation cardds and stuff; i dun talk to my neighbours; my parents will never come. wat do you expect? me and my sis each buy one or two and spend $40 bucks? where i get these money? from my parents? hallo??? i'm not damn rich okay? this is crazy. until now, my sale of tickets is 0. even for guitar concert? i sold not 1 ticket. i bought one for my sis. and my mum bought one more. so what? you want me to buy them all, and give to other pple for free since they dun want to pay MONEY? YOU MUST BE KIDDING MAN!
__________________________________
As i was saying..i walked around the neighbourhood, and discovered i missed so much stuff. i missed the times i played basketball with my sis at the basketball court, play badminton with her, ride around with the scooter and stuff. or just simply running around the garden or sitting there quietly together. i miss the times i went to aipheng's house to do projects..i remember the music project, humans proj about the earth, global warming etc..i miss the rollerblading and stuff...i miss them all. remember the marble we found? the one which fell out of the rollerblades when i fell down? the one, we made wishes on? that was almost two years ago...so long ago....
everything's so different now. we are all separated, caught up with our own different lives. everything to me has become a routine. wake up, go to school, eat, do hw, come home, sleep and all..like a cycle. so much so..i miss the simplest thing like sitting at the park quietly to think through stuff or just don't think about anything..
and remember peisi calling us 4 musketeers, chingli calling me lamalan...it's all gone now..so long ago..and everyone has changed. new friends have been made and old ones have been forgotten...so little frens stay with you forever.
i'm glad i have ti lin, su phei..and thank all other friends who has stepped in my life and made an imprint in my heart...4o3o4 mons and all...
WOw..this such a long post...damn. i have a gp reading package test tomorrow..48 pages to read, about economics, and i'm still at pg 8, yet i have so much other hw to do...damn. good luck to me man!
♥reflected @ 9:45 PM
Sunday, August 21, 2005 ♥
PPLE...
i'm sure you all recieved an e-mail from me that says help me with the survey..so please do help me do..thanks thank you so much :)
http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.asp?u=731571286434
♥reflected @ 10:23 AM
♥
DAMN IT!!!!!!!!!!
this is darn irritating.
i was actually in a good and calm today. and then the world is determined to create smth bad for me. oh yarh rite.
oh so rite. i'm the ALWAYS up UPTIGHT and OVERSTRESSED girl?? yup rite. so wat i do? oh yarh. eat a chill pill and cool? ha.ha.ha.oh rite. i noe tt pple are like telling me: STOP OVER-REACTING!! yup. i shld rite. i noe. i noe. tt's y i feel like shutting myself out.
okay.damn. i feel i'm so sarcastic now, i'm showing pple so much attitude again, i'm talking like a total creep.
yesterday was terrible. i ended school at 4.30. been calling my sis all the way from 2p.m to 7+ and she refused to pick up the phone. cos she was at shooting.gp wasn't good for me.while someone says it was fun. stoning all the way feeling totally out of place and damn hell when i was on my way to jp, after watching kalpana and her two friends leaving and thanking their offer of me joining then seeing a grp of friends waiting for one another i decided to leave and walk my miserable body with the two fat legs to the mrt station slowly cos my legs are in sudden pain letting pple walking past me in front of me away from me. unhappy when tania and joanne didn't call me, and just went off. saw them at the bus stop. even unhappier. refused to talk to them much. it wasn't their fault. they didn't do anything. i wasn't in a good mood yesterday. i didn't call them either i should ve known in e first place. i dun belong there dun belong in tt place either.
walked and walked and walked. walked in jp from 5+ to 6+ walked and walked. called my sis again. called and called. how frustrating. i decided i want to go home. then my sis called. on my way home passed by jj thinking might as well walk home with her. in the end i accept her unspoken request and walked the nightmarket. spent so much time looking at watches i really wanted to go home to rest and prepare for today's speech.
i knew i wasn't up for it at all yesterday. i already knew how it was going to be like.no miracles wil happen.
i went to the comp today. i was unluckily/luckily the first one. wasn't good. final verdict is: i didn't get in.
I thank Mr Ho,the chem tcher who drove me to sph to take part in the comp. he has been very understanding. all the while he didn't speak to me abt my speech. fr driving me there to driving me back. i took the setback very easily and lightly because of how he approached the matter. i thank him for driving me there, and also giving me a single word of encouragement which meant a lot also.
I thank my parents.esp my mum. who told me tt i can choose to quit anytime i want.
i thank my sis for encouraging me and sharing her experiences with me.
i thank jonathan, kalpana and sis for msging me and wishing me good luck.
i thank my classmates who tried to help me through.
i thank the 4o3o4 mons, felicia and zixian for consistently giving me advice and encouraging me.
i thank mdm ma who helped look at my scripts..
I THANK everyone else (whom i cannot list down one by one) who helped me too.
i noe i wouldn't get in. i wasn't good enough. i had totally no experience and readiness. other schools have pro trainers and all. i had only me.
on mon we ve to ve first draft of e0m and written report ready and yet...
wat i told serene:
i'm vexed. for reasons othersmay think its negligible. for reasons pple think aren't impt. for matters pple feel tt they can be simply laid out
i noe tt some pple are feeling tt i shld simply buzz off or smth. i do noe tt some dislike me cos they feel tt i'm always stressed out for no particular reason tt i'm making life difficult myself and all...
now and then, i will sit myself at a corner, think so much after a catalyst does it function, cry and lick my own wounds, then try get up again
i thank you pple for understanding and trying to help me. i'm grateful i have you pple.
i really dun noe. some pple think that i shld ve simply laughed, take it easy, let them do wat they want, watch them do with amusement. but i dun.
i hate myself for hanging onto things that have passed. things that ve passed well long ago. days, months and even years. i noe i ve to let go. but my brain and heart refuses to..
i'm always looking backwards when i try to look forward. when smth happens, i think so much, my world seems to crumble
worse is tt, i noe wat's wrong, i noe how simple and easy it can actually be, but i cant solve it,even when i noe tt others can't solve stuff for me.
i will restrain my feelings within. i will hopefully change by mon and last long ...
♥reflected @ 12:15 AM
Friday, August 19, 2005 ♥
i'm screwed up. totally. totally screwed up.
today's a very lousy, bad day.
very very very lousy day.
i'm so so so at a loss now. totally screwed up.
♥reflected @ 10:11 PM
Thursday, August 18, 2005 ♥
today had bio spa which was lousy. totally screwed up. just reached home. ie. this is a short post.
THANK YOU to those who cared for me today. THANKS.
happy birthday to haw yi again, who received a can of corn from adelle for his bdae. haha.
i managed to send him a bdae msg, exactly 12.00.00 this morning. right on time. on my phone it was recorded as 11.59.40, i was quite diaong, when i saw that. until today he told me i actually did get it on time. cos, on his phone it was recorded as 12.00.00. cool rite? hahz. both tania and both jcs couldn't do so last time...heheez. oh yah, ven't got time to get him anything yet...mmm..maybe i shall get something to help him match his new black bag and red shoes together better.
just reached home after pw meeting after shooting physical training. yep! gtg liaoz. need to go and bathe then do work liaoz...bb.
♥reflected @ 7:19 PM
Wednesday, August 17, 2005 ♥
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THOSE BORN IN AUGUST!!!
so... HAPPY BELATED/EARLY BIRTHDAY TO...
8th: Marilyn, Kaamini
10th: Augustine
15th: Yan Ling
16th: Elizabeth, Pei Xia
18th: Haw Yi
31st: Serene
Well...even though i dun think they would see this..hahz. anyway...
tml there's bio spa on enzymes, the ones i hate most.oh well, i hate all practicals. i ve recre shooting physical training after school tml, i have to memorise the stupid script for the oratorical comp on sat, i have math and chem tutorials to do...argh..i have no time at allllllll
haiz. so wat am i doing here?? dong.
♥reflected @ 8:40 PM
Sunday, August 14, 2005 ♥
seriously. i have no idea wat happened.
after my mum told me to go do work, not watch tv yesterday, i was already so frustrated, i shut down the comp, collected my stuff, went upstairs and dumped my stuff on the ground. then i quarelled with my sis, who said that i was showing too much attitude and all, the next thing that happened was that my mum went out of the house. i was so blur and frustrated. all i could do was knock my head on the floor and cry. i had no idea what happened. i was unhappy, cos i complained to my mum about my stupid gp group, she told me that if i had so much stuff to do, i shouldn't have even gone out. i had told her i will be out for lunch only, but in the end i reached home at only 6.15.that, i noe i was wrong. but it wasn't intentional.but wateva it is, i cannot just because i have some stupid gp thing to do, and my group isn't doing anything, i dun go meet suphei, and seowting and all to see how they are doing. why should i sacrifice my time of caring for my few no. of friends i have,sacrifice my opportunity to watch the last episode of tian long ba bu, just bcos some tcher rejected my chinese yan jiang gao, some pple refused to come together and do a project.
and my mum just walked out. i was so frustrated already, i had no idea wat the hell i shld do.
i went down to find my mum, couldn't find her..i was so anxious, so frustrated.
i called su phei for advice,and just cried to her. i was like totally having a nervous breakdown..
worse, i accidentally stepped on my glasses, the frame became crooked, the lense dropped out. my world is like totally crumbling.
today.
all had passed. i still have no idea wat happened. just like some nightmare i had, i have no idea what happened throut. just noe that it was a nightmare.
so confused.
haiz.
tml have to hand up stupid module, yet my grp haven't been doing anything. tml, i have to practise my yan jiang, but i don't even have the script ready. tml i have to let the tcher see beginnings of EoM and Written Report, yet i have nothing at hand. tml i have let the tcher see the finalised survey and interview, but i have so much to do. tml i have a maths test, and yet i have forgotten all my work.
die die die.
how am i going to survive???
♥reflected @ 12:17 PM
Saturday, August 13, 2005 ♥
WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Every other group has started doing something!!!
Why isn't my group doing anything??? NO!!NO way am i going to be the one to take the iniative to start the stupid gp module -stupid 3 pg essay!!!!No way am i going to do the whole thing.Besides, i have no single idea of what to do, how to do.
Why am i in this school?? Why was i so foolish? Why was i so immature? Why did i make the decision of staying???WHY WHY WHY? How come my life is so terrible? Why the hell am i such an outcast, misfit?? WHy in the world, am i ending up doing the gp proj with FOUR GUYS??!!! Why???!!! AARRGGHH!!!! Why do we have to do this stupid thing? Why do we have to study gp? Who's the damn idiot who created group work? Which fella invented projects???
PW. GP. I hate both of them. My pw topic is photosynthesis. something about mimicking photosynthesis and inventing some converter to be implemented in a car. and it's so tough. WhO invented surveys and interviews? what the hell? everything's so tough! why can't we have done something easy like discovering some plant, some flower for its medical values and stuff and crap and wateva it contains? why do we have to do some scientific chim chim stuff????
AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! Wat's the stupid EoM??How to do tt stupid thing? Evaluate? Analysize? i hate them! ARgh! why must pple make life tough for other people? they enjoy to see others suffer?
______________________________
Let's steer away from that topic.
Today I went out with SU PHEI!!!!!!!!!!FINALLY!!!!!!! together with Piak loo, Seow ting and Wei ting. i made them cards and roses...oh man burnt a very big hole in my pocket! Heeheez..(sorry..weiting, i didn't noe that you changed your mind and decided to come..so i didn't get u any rose and didn't make u a card...so sorry)
we ate at the jap restaurant at clementi, walked about, drank bubble tea and weiting had to go. the rest of us went to holland v and walked. oh man..our legs became very tired larh..
when i get the pictures from weiting, i'll post them here...
glad that seowting's fine...
yup
___________________________
i'm suffering from having not enough time...monday i have maths test... i have to do it well..my tcher will be disappointed if i ever fail to reach my own and his expectations...
bio test was lousy
_______________
AARRRAARRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I hate it! hate it hate it hate it hate it!!!!!
Wat the hell. so i have to go for this chinese yan jiang bi sai. and then my mum insists that i Not watch the last episode of tian long ba bu. And tell me to go read the stupid stuff
i hate it.
arghhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!
argh argh argh argh argh argh argh!!!!!!!!!!
aksdfkahdsfkjhadskfhakdhkjadhsgkdhgkahdsgkhd
this is total CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP!!!!!!!!!
♥reflected @ 8:22 PM
Thursday, August 11, 2005 ♥
Yeah!!!!!
Tuesday was national day!!
Happy Belated Birthday Singapore!!!
and the best thing that happened that day was that my dad bought me a guitar!!!! yeah. wow! i was stunned!!!
the national day parade on tv was quite boring..like come on, it's always the same every year what..but dunno why i feel that this year's is the shortest, cos i was sitting down at the tv staring at it all the way through, was trying out my new guitar, trying to tune it, listen to songs on the net, and found out how beautiful and nice the song, qian nian zhi lian is.(sang by fir)love it man!
msged sabbie and li hao about my guitar, and li hao told me that i have to ensure that e guitar is in good condition bla bla bla, talked abt gmg, bla bla bla and he boasting about his knowledge about guitars.
today found out that andrew(in my class) actually plays the base. thr aaron(is tt how to spell his name?), tania's friend. i was shocked and surprised. cos he sure kept it quiet..mm..wow so actually my class have quite a few guitar players. me, eston, andrew and i think nat. wei sheng also i guess( read from his blog-not sure).
yesterday slacked a lot. watched tv laze here and there. today had econs essay test. everytime after econs tests, i will feel relieved. like it's over and all! there's bio test tomorrow, i must go and study hard. i must score well. the chem test was resturned today.yeah! did not bad. the teacher wrote there 'quite gd'-(this the first time i see a teacher write such a comment)-maybe to urge me and encourage me to work harder.
pe's quite boring these days. the single period pes. the double period pes on tuesday, we currently are doing something called body combat. the guy(coach or wateva they call him) very funny, always try to make things fun for us..but well..single period pes nowadays are training for those who failed their napfa or who got bronze. other people can go free play. last few weeks all they did was basketball, which was aiyoh, boring to me, so in the end, i went to run. today, they played tennis, actually i was quite interested, but after running two rounds decided to join kalpana and esther they all in badminton. but stupid wind. argh.made me look like chicken trying to fly. i also suddenly remembered then, that both haw yi and li hao plays tennis quite well.
i must work hard! i mean really. i have to. promos are coming larh.
tml's bio. i hope i will do well. i hope i did well for my econs test last friday and today.
and oh yarh. my sister's fallen ill..so ke lian. this week her common tests(something like terms) start. and yet she's sick. Dear sis! Take care! Get well soon! All the best!
thinking of changing the blogskin, but very troublesome right?
Must go study for bio liaoz.
♥reflected @ 7:44 PM
Monday, August 08, 2005 ♥
today is quite a sad day for me.
Today is national day celebration in school...it's actually erh..quite boring. good thing is that it ended very early, at 9.30am. after the celebrations i had totally no idea what to do. cos.
on friday night, my new class rep asked me if there were any plans for the class today.so she wanted a class outing. so i msged the whole class to ask their opinion..and many told me they aren't free. jiayi told me tt it is not necessary to arrange any time, venue, what to do at all. and tt made me very confused. she told me to relax.i ask another persons for advice. and i finally decided to lay off, heck care, dun do anything and let nature take its course. so.yup. tt's why today, after the celebrations i ve totally no idea what to do. in the end i went off with tania, joanne and yen nee. then tania yennee and me went back to nanhua.nanhua has become different, unfamiliar and hostile to me. there's a guardhouse, hightech lock to the staffroom, and it's so foreign...
talked to mrs lim. the bio tcher who relieved us in sec 3 also gave me a lot of advice for jc life. after talking wang lao shi, i wasn't very happy so i left to meet my sis at clementi.
my sis and i went to the jap 'restaurant' to eat...wow very full..but the food wasn't very very nice kind of thing. it's very normal.
the final plan for class outing was 4 at orchard mrt station.
so we went home together first. i actually wanted my sister to go with me..so that i won't feel tt lonely..
but she couldn't..she has common tests this week..
so in the end i went alone to meet my classmates at orchard mrt station..was quite late.amazing..they were already there..
in the end..we simply walked and walked. pple who came: marilyn and weisheng, eunice n. and wee jin, jia yi and clarice,eunice s. and xiangning, and esther. serene and yanling came and left.eston also came and left.xinyi and aneesa thought of coming but didn't come. after a while, jiayi and clarice also left after a while. then marilyn and weisheng left to eat dinner. soon everyone was leaving. the whole outing was simply a group walking outing. we just kept walking at the Heeren.and i just kept following. i saw some x-nanhuarians..and was a bit stunned and 'disgusted' to see them...and when everyone was leaving i followed the wrong pple-xiangning and esther-they were actually going to take bus. but when i turn around,i couldn't find eunice and wee jin anymore. so in the end i was at a loss. i have no idea where i was. how to walk. where the mrt station was. in the end i just walked. i turned right and walked continuously. past takashimaya, past lucky plaza, past wisma atria, kept walking until eh? i finally saw the mrt station underpass sign.
but the damage was done.
i was so upset. so sad tt the outing, other pple were all so happy, and yet i was so sad, cos. i felt totally that i do not belong there. cos. i felt so stone and alone and blur and ...
i was so unhappy that i have no idea where i was. that in the end, i end up walking alone, totally lost.
that i dun even noe where i was when a pri schl kid might even noe.
well.
wateva.
can't be bothered anymore.
there's a lot of homework for me to do.
i have bio test econs test adn maths test to study.
still have to read the political and economical reading packages to read.
still have to do pw.
still have to do some gp module.
ah..no time no time!!!!!!!!!!!
♥reflected @ 9:27 PM
Sunday, August 07, 2005 ♥
People see love in your eyes. You either love
everyone around you ooor...somebody's in
loooove, no? Seriously, though... You seem to
have a lot of love in your heart right now.
You're singing songs and picking flowers...or
at least you feel like doing so. And we can't
forget floating on air, right? Well, don't let
anyone ruin that for you, and if things don't
turn out...don't worry over it. There are worse
things, and you know it.
What can people see in your eyes?(great ANIME pics)((IMPROVED!!!)) brought to you by QuizillaI was so surprised when zi xian called me out of the blue...cos she read my blog. and she called me to just talk to me, to tell me that there are pple who doesn't treat me as an information counter.
THANK YOU ZIXIAN!!!!!!!!!!
luv ya lots!!!!!
it also made me realise how much my chinese has deteriorated since coming to acjc...
my chinese is a total mix of english and chinese..
i must change that!!
stupid. i ve a gp essay to write and hand in by tml..so tough larh the questions..
i have to go do my work liaoz...
♥reflected @ 3:19 PM
Friday, August 05, 2005 ♥
haiz.
monday i was terribly sad after school. cos some pple in my class totally ignored me and made me very sad. they reminded me how i felt like i was an information counter. pple msged me or talked to me only when they have a question to ask me.like: test test until where. homework got wat kind of thing. i was deeply sad and anguished that i had no clique in class, i cried the whole night...a very sad sad sad cry.i started of talking calmly to su phei then cried. peisi called me to ask me abt chem and after teaching her i was so gloomy i cried again. i was feeling so down i didn't feel like studying for the chem test for tuesday. i was so tired and nodding off...i discovered on tuesday morning that i wrote econs stuff into my chem notes...ha.ha
tuesday after school had gmg again.guitar mugger grp. heheex. on wed gmg after schl again. even though it was only me joanne tania lihao and johnathan...but yup..last wed's gmg was quite successful for me becos i did a lot of work.this week..hehee.we spent most of the time talking and me crapping. especially on wed, while tania and joanne had pw meeting, jc had gardening and then came to sleep, me and li hao were talking total a whole load of crap, me introducing every chio bu to him..hahaa.
hopefully things will get better for me in school so that i won't feel that terrible anymore..but well...dun think it will.
maybe i should follow what xiujun says..concentrate on studies..then i won't think abt stuff.
i have been sleeping quite late all these days..shld be damn tired, but always in schl i dun feel e tiredness until at home at night at bout 10 plus i start nodding off to sleep at my table. maybe bcos in schl it's so busy...non-stop rushing here and there. and every single day is dragging...
got stupid gp project and pw...i pray that our pw will go on smoothly, no problems will appear.........haiz........
my mum is complaining again. about she having to do housework at this late hour of 9.30 p.m.
i hate men. they are terrible. they treat us like shit. especially the two in the house. the older one lives in the 17th century in firm belief that girls should be doing all the housework starting at the age of 12. ridiculous.the other one thinks that everything in the house belong to him.ridiculous. so the comp belongs to him? yar rite.ha.ha.ha. i dun take such nonsense.
acjc 18th fun-o-rama.next year. yet we ve to start selling coupons now. so everyone takes 19 sets of $10 coupons.sell. tt is the first drive. next year we ve to sell 2 more times. problem is. i dun have 57 friends willing to buy a coupon from me. i dun tok to neighbours. dun tok to relatives. my secondary schl is not interested in a carnival. i ve no juniors nor seniors. so like how. then we have donation cards. again. trouble. who's going to donate to me? well i donated 2 bucks to my own card, my mum another 2. come on. i dun come from a rich family or sorts.
and the two guys upstairs happily watching tv. leaving me down here veing to listen to my mum complain.
DAMNATION.
SIANZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
♥reflected @ 8:47 PM
