Saturday, July 29, 2006 ♥
oh mans.
i'm like in how much super deep shit lor.
i wasted one whole day off today. i woke up late at 9, lazed around the house, played a bit of guitar, had lunch, watched the tv and went out. to swim with my sis. and damn it. wasted one entire hr, in our swimming costumes, waiting for the damn rain to stop. read one page of the sexual repro of humans lecture notes, then went off for dinner. then, came back to jurong at abt 7 and wasted time at the specs shop. then. went ard the pasa malam aka night market looking for a new wallet which in the end was unsuccessful, wasted more time waiting for some shi fu to do his act and show the end of the entire process, to see what was to see, which in the end i didn't manage to see, cos my dad got us to go home. and time? 9plus.
OMG.
so like one entire spent like that. and hello?
i only have
2 weeks left b4 my
PRELIMS.and. i haven't start any revision yet.
HOW NOW??
and i wasted thursday and friday away too. cos i was reading this book i borrowed from the library.
which was super nice. one of the best books by jude deveraux. first impressions. it was a great plot, even though the front portion was a tweeny bit boring cos it was informative, then the end was a tweeny bit rushy, but on the whole, the book was great. it was something sorta new from her, and it kept me on my toes till the end. :)
how i wish if i can pon school and do very well in my studies. how i wish i have a conducive environment at home to study.
i wish this and that.
i wish my wishes will come ture.
hahx.
hmms. schl is getting wierder.
econs tut is sorta getting 'better'?
but i dun think i really do like that change? cos i feel so..not me. unless that's really me?
bleauh.
anyway. i love this song playing on my blog. and i'm totally addicted to it, ever since i heard it once. and i almost listen to it everyday.
i wasted my mum's money. i'm really sorry. and i wish i have the money to repay her.
a few days. i was feeling sad. cos i saw how pple could be so selfish. i wonder how come man have become like this. evolution? the fight for the survival of the fittest?
i wish all ppl would treasure wat little they actually have. cos i dun think that in reality, anyone can have many things.
well. it's just my thought, whether it stands..it's up to life.
well well. i'm one confused person i guess. like i wonder if i'm strong or i'm weak. probably that's wat called- lack of confidence? well..if tt's true, then i probably have been lying to myself for past few months attempting all those wierd things i tried to do.
or probably i was finding this word confidence.
oh well. i really should not be thinking about these kind of nonsense stuffs anymore. cos hallo??
PRELIMS??life jus sux la hor.
♥reflected @ 9:19 PM
Saturday, July 22, 2006 ♥
su phei's back from england!
and OMG! she finished her A LEVELS!
omg. and i still haven' even started with my revision for my prelims.
haizzzzzzzzzzzzz
yesterday was a bad day again.
GRRR. Roar.
♥reflected @ 12:27 PM
Wednesday, July 19, 2006 ♥
i so want to slap myself
for doing stupid things
damn it.
anyway.
today is the last time i perform as a guitar grp for guitar ensemble 2005/2006.
it was for cip at henderson old folks.
even though we didn't play very well, i'm glad to have played. it marked the end of guitar for this year.
prelims is 26 days away.. i think..and i've not started anything yet.
haiz.
:(
♥reflected @ 7:50 PM
Saturday, July 15, 2006 ♥
guess wat.
i just watched a live video of a woman giving birth form life's greatest miracle.
and let me tell you that
it's beautiful to see a live forming. but. it's er. not very wonderful to see what the woman has to go through.
geeks.
♥reflected @ 11:00 PM
♥
today is
Sabrina Wee's 18th Birthday!
Happy Birthday to her!
In the afternoon had to go do the cip kids' prog.
sabbie's frens so nice. they came all the way down to celebrate her bdae for her.
wow.
yesterday me, esther-s, kalpana etc celebrated xiangning's bdae with kfc delivered chicken.
this year. my bdae would have to be studying for econs and bio As..
how abt tat.
anyway. today. ended quite.. ok. i guess.
lots of hw for me to start tackling tmr.
♥reflected @ 9:59 PM
Friday, July 14, 2006 ♥
today
is
a
bad
day.
a
very
bad
sad
day.
i
wish
tmr
would
be
better.
feeling
so
lost
cold
and...
now.
i'll
go
sleep
and
try
to
forget
abt
:(
stuffs
tmr
morning.
♥reflected @ 11:27 PM
Wednesday, July 12, 2006 ♥
"Whisper" ~evanescence
Catch me as I fall
Say you're here and it's all over now
Speaking to the atmosphere
No one's here and I fall into myself
This truth drives me
Into madness
I know I can stop the pain
If I will it all away
Don't turn away
(Don't give in to the pain)
Don't try to hide
(Though they're screaming your name)
Don't close your eyes
(God knows what lies behind them)
Don't turn out the light
(Never sleep never die)
I'm frightened by what I see
But somehow I know
That there's much more to come
Immobilized by my fear
And soon to be
Blinded by tears
I can stop the pain
If I will it all away
Fallen angels at my feet
Whispered voices at my ear
Death before my eyes
Lying next to me I fear
She beckons me
Shall I give in
Upon my end shall I begin
Forsaking all I've fallen for
I rise to meet the end_____________________________
i'm worried.
i doubt myself. i doubt the future. i was still feeling okay actually. and i was set all to go on monday after i met those guys for the cip kids program. all prepared to lead them and plan smth gd out.
and today. i arranged a meeting to meet the grp of ppl i'm working with, and like. the j1s couldn't come yet cos they have a seminar. and the j2s only jonathan, and joel and chenyan who won't be actually involved in it turned up.
last night i was all prepared, wrote out a list of stuffs to do, and today recess i went to zap the origami bks..and
just now.
i was
lost. i felt totally lost.. i had no idea what to say and how to move on from there.
i'm scared i'll fail myself and everyone else. and i scared i have already done so.
and i didn't actually realise that until just now i was talking to sabbie on msn.
truthfully, i'm not just worried about tt cip on coming saturday.
i'm worried about the coming chem and bio tests on friday and also how much time i have until prelims, but still never manage to start any revision.
aren't i such a failure by keep worrying?
haiz. it's ok..i'm alright. still holding on. still going on being brave.
and try battle all those stuffs down. grr.
que sera sera.
whatever wil be, will be.
_____________
♥reflected @ 9:17 PM
Sunday, July 09, 2006 ♥
alright. at first i didn't want to update my blog. cos i really have a lot of stuffs to do and i have already wasted 2 days away, by reading books and watching tv and watching vcds- x men3 and practical magic. my mum disappointed me quite a bit cos she showed a lot of disinterest at practical magic and downed my enthusiasm with lots of cold water until my sis shouted at me and told me to forget it. in the end tt movie was full of fowarding until the more exciting parts and it was totally not a movie anymore. haiz. i really hope i can get to watch pirates of the carribean tonight..but wells.
as for the books i've read. one is a sorta romance by johanna lindsey called "a man i could call my own" but the story was about two twin sisters who were at loggerheads and stuff, as a result of the father's biasedness, and more complicated stuffs abt the romance parts. but in the end, it's easy to tell that the sisters were always still caring for each other. it wasn't an exciting book, but it was interesting, different from those normal lurvey dovey kind.
the other book is "just like heaven"..where the movie was adapted from. and the book is really good. very. it's great, inspirational and touching. i cried when i read it. i wished i can i typed here some excerpts of it. the book is different from the movie. by marc levy, it was originally called if only it were true, and the characters are different also. just that the plot is mainly the same.
but i must always tell myself, and rememer that my bank account everyday contains only 8400 seconds, and those wasted ones would not be carried over or sorts. and that this bank account can suddenly close with no warning. the game may just end like that. i must remember that.
anyway, since i saw this at gabryl's blog, might as well..
You have been tagged!!
Once you've been tagged, you have to write a blog with 7 weird facts/fears/music/things/words about yourself, saying who tagged you. In the end you need to choose the 7 people to be tagged and list their names. No tag backs.
so. ya he sorta 'tagged' me.
anyway.
~7 Random facts abt me
1)i'm a girl
2)i'm not very tall but i'm heavy
3)i like pink
4)but i don't really have a lot of pink stuffs
5)i'm unpredictable
6)i'm indecisive
7)i wish i have rollerblades
~7 things that scare me..
1)being heartbroken
2)my mother getting sick/ angry/ sad/ unhappy
3)my dad yelling
4)me myself, cos you'll never really know yourself and wat u can do or say,scared that i might do or say wrong stuffs that i'll regret
5)darkness
6)accusations
7)loud noises and sudden actions
~7 random music at the moment
1)angels by robbie williams cos i'm listening to it
2)s club 7 songs- never had a dream come true and have you ever cos they were once my fav songs
3)jay chou songs cos he's supposed to be my fav chinese singer
4)tell him by celine dion and someone else cos i was singing it when i woke up this morning
5)hips don't lie by shakira cos it's on my blog
6)zombie by cranberries cos i was thinking whether i should put it on my blog
7)evanescence songs cos they bring comfort to me whenever i'm sad
~7 things i like most
1)my twin
2)reading
3)swimming
4)solitude (sometimes)
5)peace and tranquility
6)my family
7)friends who are really true to me
~7 things i say most...
1)ya rite..
2)watever.
3)i'm tired tt's all
4)fine lor
5)anyway
6)shit
7)oh no
~7 ppl to do this
1)sis
2)sabbie
3)fel
4)ti lin
5)andrew
6)hamC
7)anyone
tt's tt.
♥reflected @ 1:55 PM
Thursday, July 06, 2006 ♥
i was thinking a lot of stuffs.
until i was so confused. until i wanted to cry.
anyway.
thinking too much is just not good rite. ya.
the first thing that i was thinking about was yesterday. and one night ago. yesterday i was upset for my sis, sad for her that her shooting 'career' has come to an 'end' like this.
another thing was that my sis lost her ez-link card. i was frustrated cos i really couldn't help cos i noe so little abt the details etc.
thought abt one night ago..abt my sis and my mum. both complaining to me about their lives.
and felt really helpless and sad. that it's so unfair to my sis and my mum. and actually my dad too. sad that there can be pple like that. pple who treat others so badly, ppl with no heart. sad that humanity has become..
then i was thinking about myself. whether i am a good person or not. everytime i'm home, i would help my mum with housework. and yet i complain and be unhappy. even tho after a while i'm like really nothing. and times when i lend ppl stuffs and all. after that i would be like :(. but everytime i still do lend away stuffs. whether it's just tissue paper, or tutorials. and when ppl always ask me to help them do stuff and all. i do them.
but my doing of so many stuffs has not granted me like superb happiness or wat. and it's because i feel that ppl do not feel gratitude for me and always take for granted for wat i do and did.
now i'm thinking of that time during some talk or sorts. someone said that to lead you'll have to serve first.
so i guess i will not be a great leader or smth since i don't happily 'serve' pple. and i do not see why i shld help ppl (even tho i still do) when ppl don't 'serve' me or when they do not show gratitude at all.
and now i'm thinking i guess that's why i didn't hold on to role of ass class rep. one of the reason was that i couldn't work well somebody else, another reason was that ppl don't recognise wat i do. see how easily they forgot all that i've tried to do and did?
And now i'm thinking all wat i'm saying is so one-sided and biased. ok.
i was thinking just now wat defines a good and bad person. if a good person is one who has a lot of morals and stuff..i don't think such a person exist anymore. to live in this realistic world, being an honest person, being helpful and careful etc..it's like going to be hard. almost impossible. you'll never be able to live easily.
looking at the ppl ard me. i wonder if they are really truthful. wonder if they are actually all hypocrites.
again the best conclusion would still be: LIFE'S LIKE THAT.
i guess the reason i was thinking so much was that we are now doing the topic philosopy.
well.
i shldn't think so much abt crap stuff like this rite. bad me. bad me. i've been watching tv all day..and
HELLO! prelims is like less than a month away? wat am i doing? and yesterday esther was panicking cos she haven't managed to study finish smth.
and me? oh dear. oh dear. i haven't even started any revision. nothing at all.
and how to start?
well well well.
anyways.
i found an eye candy! haha!
not exactly la.. but well watever. haha.
eye candy! :D
now watch tv..
:P
♥reflected @ 6:29 PM
