reflections

Sunday, January 28, 2007 ♥

i thought abt it. and i realised smth abt it.

true, it's no one else's fault. i'm still hanging on because of no one. i still complain and complain but do nothing abt it.

and the reason.
is that.

i am really such a coward can. i am like super scared of wat will happen if i decide to do smth and do smth.

wah liao. not tt i like it. at least when i'm there my sis gives me the courage to hang on.

anyway.

i watched lakehouse yesterday and ice age on fri night. lakehouse is wow. even tho me and sis both agreed that it doesn't have much logic in it and i woke up today thinking abt the storyline and maybe it does have bit of logic. but well i liked it. and i still like it. they are also my fav actors. i like the movie and i'm glad i rented it. i wanted to watch it a lot tt time when it came out. so. yup. yeah.

i so wish i have a lakehouse of my own. but tt part abt someone waiting there, hmms. i wish there is but well. -.-

i am such a lousy person.
but i really think that it hurts to care.
and i hate feeling helpless.

anyway.

today my mum and sis made love letters, in chinese it's called egg rolls, using traditional tools and charcoal. the reason i said my mum and my sis is that i didn't get to really participate except for being sent to buy containers and get more charcoal and fold a few of them and get a feeling of how it feels 'burning' ur fingers. the lucky part is that i also didn't need to participate in the cleaning up.
i took a video of the process of making tho. hees.
when i got chance i shall post some picts cos now i can't if i want i'll have to restart the comp.

i guess i sort of dislike changes ba. cos yea
i am damn stupid coward.

anyways. i have to bathe now. have to.
sians.

♥reflected @ 3:46 PM

Wednesday, January 24, 2007 ♥

life is like

super unfair to me.

:(

anyway.

i really miss those days..

hahas

i really really miss them. since last yr.

T.T

:'(

♥reflected @ 10:58 PM

Monday, January 22, 2007 ♥

sians.

i hate being nagged at.
esp abt going to slp. not tt i ve lots to do or anything.
wells.

here's some stuffs i did while i was jus bored.

The True You

You want your girlfriend or boyfriend to be more relaxed, calm, and composed.

With respect to money, you spend carefully and save your pennies.

You think good luck doesn't exist - reality is built on practicalities.

The hidden side of your personality tends to be satisfied to care for things with a minimal amount of effort.

You are tend to think about others' feelings a lot, perhaps because you are so eager to be liked.

When it comes to finding a romantic partner, you don't have any particular type in mind, but you are inclined to look for someone who will say yes when you ask him / her out.

Who's The True You?

sounds..a bit..true hors.

nxt.

How You Are In Love

You fall in love quickly and easily. And very often.

In relationships, you tend to be a bit selfish.

You need your space and privacy. You don't like to be smothered.

You love your partner unconditionally and don't try to make them change.

You stay in love for a long time, even if you aren't loved back. When you fall, you fall hard.

How Are You In Love?

hms. well. i dunno abt tt. fall hard? well i guess i haven't been thr yet la huh, did i? well. hmms.

watever. ok.
got to go sleep le anyway.

♥reflected @ 11:13 PM

Sunday, January 21, 2007 ♥

when life jus sux.

when u feel completely like shit.

when ppl are jus so damn discouraging.

when u really can't u jus can't make up ur mind abt stuffs.

when u jus dun want to care abt anything.

it's jus sux.

i jus want to put my hands in front of my face and hide away fr the world and jus keep to myself.

of course. tt is not possible.

i'm jus in those not very happy moods now i guess.

sians.

♥reflected @ 4:15 PM

Friday, January 12, 2007 ♥

Take that

Patience

Just have a little patience
I'm still hurting from a love I lost
I'm feeling your frustration
Any minute all the pain will stop.

Just hold me close inside your arms tonight
Don't be too hard on my emotions.

[Chorus:]
'Cause I
Need time
My heart is numb, has no feeling
So while I'm still healing
Just try and have a little patience.

I really wanna start over again
I know you wanna be my salvation
The one that I can always depend.

I'll try to be strong
Believe me I'm trying to move on
It's complicated but understand me.

[Chorus]

'Cause the scars run so deep
It's been hard but I have to believe
Just have a little patience [x2]

[Chorus]

Have a little patience
My heart is numb, has no feeling
So while I’m still healing
Just try and have a little patience

♥reflected @ 8:52 PM

Wednesday, January 10, 2007 ♥

today.

is really.

a not so happy day.

♥reflected @ 8:17 PM

♥

ROAR.
ROAR.
RRRROOOOAAAAARRRR.

sorry k. i didn't manage to get the f.ing. job. bcos me and my sis wanted to go back and think abt it.

but pls can u jus pls give ME a breather?

i've been trying so hard k. all the while i was doing things for two persons without even being appreciated.

who tell u to make me so dependent and indecisive?

i was not born tt way. u made me become like tt.

so sorry i didn't meet up ur expectations k.

i noe u jus desperately want me out of ur sight out of the house for a whole day everyday you won't even care as soon as possible. now. tmr. whenever. immediately.

oh ya. i can't say tt. it's my fault. my own bloody fault for being so indecisive.
SORRY.

and i noe tt. u jus want me to start feeding myself. yeah. dun worry. when i get a job interview one more time i shall like start immediately if i can no matter good or bad dun consider jus do it and earn money and pay for my own food pay for my bus fees save up for my schl fees in future. forget abt ever thinking that i cld buy some stuffs i really want.

i will work and work and work and work and work and work until u're satisfied. ay no. u will never be satisfied.

stop telling me to play basketball by the way.
and housework.
they are not the only ways to make me become thinner.

oh. so maybe i shall jus starve myself? i can save on food too.

roar.

and pls i use the comp not = to finding a job always k. there are other things i want to do using the comp. i have f.ing wasted a lot of time doing things related to job finding esp when it was not only for me. and being not appreciated is jus not enough yea. i get threatened? emotionally pressured?

i tell u.

i m not pissed at all.
i m not angry at all.

i am just very sad.
very.
very.
sad.

♥reflected @ 10:23 AM

Saturday, January 06, 2007 ♥

SIANS. super sian-ed.
cos i so want to talk to some ppl. but wat e hell. not a single soul is online for me to talk too.

where are all the ppl i want to talk to?

grrhhh.

how abt i hope they are not at zouk for that interschl prom queen/king fight thing. roars. cos i am not there. wtf.

actually i shld be happy that i have some time to slack now rite.. cos if i start working..poof! all my free time gone. esp if i decide okay wat e heck i shall keep working every single day. all days of the week even public holidays somemore. from early morning to late in the night. then i would be busy busy busy very busy working. tt means i would have no time to slack, no time to breathe, no time to blog, no time to even come online. even if i do have time i would be like damn tired. it would be like come home frm work then bathe and slp. nxt day wake up go work again.
tt kind of worklife..

wow. sounds a bit scary. but at least the best part is i get money and i wouldn't be thinking too much abt random stuffs.

but then.

LOOKING FOR A JOB
is damn hard i tell u.

i have been walking and walking
i have been flipping thr ads on newspapers and internet.
i have made calls

AND i think wat is damn hard is not just looking for a job
it is to Consider if i shld take a certain job.

wtf.

i hope i get a great job soon.

♥reflected @ 10:28 PM

Monday, January 01, 2007 ♥

so. yup.

today's the first day of 2007. a new yr.

and i was thinking. about me.
cos yesterday i was looking at my sis's prom photos and mine. so ya.

i was thinking that i'm actually quite simple ba. jus that there's a happy me and a sad me at times. and then most ppl only want to noe the happy me. so i show them the happy me. and when i am sad, then i am sad me. then when i stone then tt's indifferent me. well i was thinking. most ppl only care to noe happy me. and they dun really care about why the sad me. or maybe it's just very hard to share with others why the sad me.

actually me am just me la horhs. just that very little noe the me with everything. me jus plain me with all the troubles, all the baggage. and it's not easy to trust someone and worse not possible to share everything abt me. it'll become an old grandma ma story. and usually when i'm out of my house i dun want to think of all tt baggage. so i block it. cover with either happy me or a sad me or an indifferent me.

actually. really. new yr doesn't really mean anything rite. life still goes on the same way.

nvm.

so.yup.

happy new year!

♥reflected @ 1:19 PM