Thursday, December 22, 2005 ♥
hahaa..ok..i was over-ambitious i guess..i shall change the music..haha
i wish i can post pictures here..but too bad..my comp is too lousy.can't send the pictures in my phone to the comp.yup.
Sabbie's in brunei..wonder when she's coming back...hmm..
i shall make this post special..
first of all...
cute right...snowman iceskating..
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!!
hope everyone will have a fun and nice christmas..which i doubt i will have with so much homework not yet done..anyway enjoy christmas!!
i gave up e-learning. for econs, chem and maths. i decided to just study the text book and borrow sis's notes.
hmmm..yup..i was saying this post is going to be special..cos i'm going to review abt this year..since this year is ending soon..
so..actually all i can say about this year is that, it was ultra tough, hard, busy, unhappy, sad, stressful...hahaa..sound like it was really that bad..but yah. truthfully this year started off quite ok..
1st three months. when i first stepped into ac. i never thought that i would stay in tt school. first day was quite terrible. it was blur. didn't know wat was going on. only tt waited with some nan hua ppl who i don't noe..and then get to the hall listen to ppl talk and all..then there was the orientation. weird. didn't noe wat the ogls were doing..then get into grps and all..orientation wasn't fun for me, cos i was so..i didn't give in a lot of effort in trying to socialise..first time i met the class..wasn't very good also. it could have been better, if i tried to fit in. but i didn't, cos all the while i thought that this was temporary, that i won't be staying in ac. so throughout the first three months, i kept mostly to myself, and concentrated on studying.
the only thing in the first three months i enjoyed the most was guitar. it was really fun and great..even though i didn't make special frens in guitar yet, didn't noe everyone well yet, but i can remember that the first person i know from guitar, is sabrina. then followed by tania who is also from nanhua, then joanne. and a little bit about jonathan, who gave me quite a bad impression. hahaa..other pple i remember in first three months guitar is shin ying, darryl, gabriel, zhi li, jovita, and lots of many pple..can't remember their names liao..
first three months spent with the class was quite terrible. but i made two friends, kaamini and evy, who both aren't in sd3 after first 3 months anymore.
when the o level results came out. i was happy tt i did considerably well, but it wasn't statisfyingly well. cos i could really have done a lot better if last year there had not happened so much stuffs. then came the dilemma. whether i should stay in acjc or not. thr out the first three months, all my thoughts had been that, once the results come out, i would leave ac, and join the ppl i know in njc. joan, siyuan and many nanhuarians all decided to leave ac. but i stayed. until now, i cannot make up my mind whether i had made the correct decision, and several times, i have regretted tt decision, but nevertheless, i cannot turn back the hands of time.
the reasons i chose to stay in ac: 1) guitar ensemble. i learning to play the syf songs already, and i worry that if i go over to nj, i won't be able to get into a cca where i will enjoy myself as much. 2) studies. some ppl have told me that my o level results are quite good. but compared to other pple in nj, i won't be able to compare with them. 3) also studies. ppl in nj were learning diff stuffs in nj. i worry tt i will not be able to catch up with them. furthermore, i'm not as hardworking as the people down there, i worry that i won't be able to cope.
so i stayed in acjc.
we had a class outing during the first three months, yet again, i didn'nt make more friends in my class. after the 2nd intake came in, i hung around with kalpana and eunice sin. tt was one week. although i enjoyed being with them, somebody said something that changed me. in the end, i no longer hang about with anyone. i was with me, and myself.
guitar was still ok..we went for the syf and did our best, even though we really could have done even more better, we got ourselves silver! but we are happy with tt already. then we had a guitar outing. it was the
best outing i ever had. ever.
oh ya. some other news that changed me a lot too. one abt hawyi's dad, the other abt the ex.first aid president. and then some girl who had lukemia..then seowting's dad.
all gave me shocks of my life. and all brought up everything that happened last year. and all changed me a whole lot.
guitar ppl..there were new intake. and then concert. and then the committee changed. so everything changed. guitar was no longer the guitar i knew. many times, i had thought of quitting guitar, like sabbie, but in the end i stayed. cos simply, i had no where else i could go. in the beginning i was so proud of guitar, and i had a deep sense of belonging there..the concert added lots of unhappiness and stress to me.
So when someone chose to spite me and make me unhappy, I broke down very easily. Guitar during the days of practicing for concert was sad and unhappy. The concert was successful. but someone mistook my guitar. the night turned awful again. throughout these days, life was not easy. the stars refuse to shine...and the world was dark.
the only thing of guitar tt made me feel like staying for is gmg. but gmg also started to change when it was no longer gmg. when new ppl came in.
so this year was very very busy. and very very stressful. which i didn't realise myself until now. most of the time i was depressed and quiet. until pple thought i was a dao person. with additions of tests and exams..new topics that i dun understand..chinese speaking competition which i had very little support for..wow..hard year it is. even after the promos, there was pw..which created a lot of troubles. then i was worrying for my classmates..and also other frens like sabbie and yen nee, worrying whether they will get promoted..
overall..
i thank those who have been patient with me, understanding and tolerant. esp ppl in my class who do not understand wat was going me, and those who also became irritated because i was always unhappy. I also want to say this: I'm really Sorry..i didn't want to be like tt, and i'm really sorry to let you guys can't stand me. pls forgive me ..
i also want to thank those who gave me advice and support when i was hysterical and unhappy.
to those who are also stressed...dun underestimate stress. it is a powerful thing that can affect not only your emotional well-being, but also your physical well-being, studies and social life. when you feel down, try to find someone whom you trust, whether is your sibling or fren, and share ur thoughts with them. if you dun have someone, be strong. no matter how hard life is, even if you feel sad everyday, keep crying and all..remember that all this is going to pass. never let stress get to you and break down. many times i broke down, without knowing that i was under a lot of stress, but i never let it tore myself up. on the outside and the inside i wasn't tt strong, but at least in the mind, i feel that i have determination to go on. so i want to share this with all those who find life difficult to go on.
the person who could brighten me up was my sis. my twin sis. she was the one i hang out most with. she's my fren, my soulmate..In my class i don't really have a clique..so i turn to my sis :) but someone once told me tt i shld not be so dependent on her. but i feel tt, i'm not being dependent. i just feel tt. we are twins. like you ppl clique among yourselves. yup.
also, thank you to joei, tania and jc, li hao, xiu jun, adam and all other guitar members who cared for me in my bleakest moments. esp to xiu jun who shared with me her experience and gave me a lot of advice. joei: thnks for allowing me to tie your hair in the morning. it gave time to not think. tania: thnks for sitting there and showing concern during mother tongue periods when i look unhappy. jc: thnks for smsing me in chinese, making jokes to make me laugh. li hao: thnks for helping during the concert and showing care when i look down too. to tania and frens like khye and bryan and all: thank you for the blue bk. whenever i'm sad i well read it. :)
the last, most important person i want to thank is...SABRINA!!! sabbie:) if u are reading this...thank you for giving me support and caring for me. sorry it seems that i was always crying..but it was really great to hang out with you and your classmates:P. thank you for being my friend. you may have many frens, but i noe tt whenever i need help you will always be there. thanks. and i hope tt, whenever you need help, please noe that i'll always be here to help too :)
finally..i feel that i am a pessismistic introvert.
so..i shall improve on tt. and make next year better. yup.
tt's my new year's resolution. yup. haha. ok.
tt's all. wow..wat a long entry :)
♥reflected @ 12:35 PM
Monday, December 19, 2005 ♥
Jason Mraz. Wordplay.
I've been all around the world
I've been a new sensation
But it doesn't really matter
In this generation
The sophomore slump is an uphill battle
And someone said that in my scene
'Cause they need a new song
Like a new religion
Music for the television
I can't do the long division
Someone do the math
For the record label puts me on the shelf up in the freezer
Got to find another way to live the life of leisure
So I drop my top
Mix and I mingle
Is everybody ready for the single and it goes...
(chorus)
Ha La La La La
Now listen closely to the verse I lay
(Ha La La La La)
It's all about the wordplay
(Ha La La La Love)
The wonderful thing it does
Because, because
I am the wizard of ooh's and ah's and fa-la-la's
Yeah the Mister A-Z
They say I'm all about the wordplay
And it's time to get ill I got your remedy
For those who don't remember me
Well let me introduce you to my style
I try to keep a jumble
And the lyrics never mumble
When the music's makin' people tongue-tied
You want a new song
Like a new religion
Music for the television
I can't do the long division
Someone do the math
For the poeple write me off like I'm a one-hit wonder
Got to find another way to keep from goin' under
Pull out the stops
Got your attention
I guess it's time again for me to mention
The wordplay
(chorus)
I built a bridge across the stream of consciousness
It always seems to be a flowin'
But I don't which way my brain is goin'
Oh the ryhmin' and the timin'
Keeps the melodies inside me
And they're comin'
Til I'm running out of air
Are you prepared to take a dive into the deep end of my head
Are you listening to a single word I've said
Ha La La La La
Listen closely to the words I say
Ha La La La La
I'm sticken' to the wordplay
Ha La La La Love
The wonderful thing it does
Because, because
I am the wizard of ooh's and ah's and fa-la-la's
Yeah the Mister A-Z
They say I'm all about the wordplay
Ha La La La La
I'm all about the wordplay
Ha La La La La
Stickin' with the wordplay
Ha La La La Love
I love the wonderful thing it does
Because, because
The ooh's and ah's and fa-la-la's fall back in love
For the Mister A-Z they say
Is all about the wordplay
______________________________________
today...
I CUT MY HAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yeah!!! hahahaa
i think i look totally like a b4d! girl!! hmm..hmm..bad bad..hahaa
yeah!!! for a change ba! :)
♥reflected @ 2:29 PM
Friday, December 16, 2005 ♥
argh..so much homework to do...
left abt only two weeks to school reopens...
homework list:
gp-
1. 4 essay plans
2. 3 bk reviews, 2 non-fiction, 1 fiction
3. 1 compre
4. 1100 words to the 30th week
maths-
1. tys last 3 qns of 17 topics, ie. 51 qns
2. e-learning on numerical methods
3. finish up vectors tutorial
4. 3-D trigo?
chem-
1. alkenes tutorial?
2. e-learning for arenes?
bio-
1. photosynthesis tutorial
econs-
1. e-learning on macroeconomics
2. and today i heard tt there's a test??
this is crap!!
who is the idiot who invented E-LEARNING?????????????????
haha...
ok let me see...so i finished up the essay plans, compre and bk reviews...and...TT's ALL??!!!!!!!!!!
ok...at least i started looking at the econs e-learning and did a little maths...damn
i hate school!i hate school!
hahaa...i should go rent a chinese junk and protest..with huge words: "DOWN WITH SCHOOL!!!!!!!" hahaaaaaaaaa i saw this kind of protest on tv..:P
well...i am so not for e-learning. it's terrible!! come on! even me..who don't read newspapers, saw it on the newspaper(quite accidentally) that there is quite a considerable percentage of people who cannot afford or don't have a computer at home. so how are the students and kids going to do this e-learning? so they say..oh the schools have comps at libraries and labs..the students can go there and use..well i think this is a zhi biao bu zhi ben solution. it's only going to make the students more stressed! and look at it. i'd rather go back to school than do stupid e-learning. so you look at the comp.as if you will understand it? and which genius can sit down there, stare at the commp for hours and TRY to understand what is going on? if u don't noe..then wat? ask the comp? haha ya rite. so they say, e-mail the teachers. wat is tt? why can't we have more easier, efficient learning and TEAChing where solutions and answers can be given in a better way? if there's e-learning, and students are told to use it, then wat are teachers for? oh ya..enforce the stuff we learnt? -tt's crap. teachers are supposed to teach. isn't tt clear, simple enough to understand.
crap.
haha.yeah..relieved a bit of stress liao :)so here's a gd way to relieve stress- crap and crap..yell and yell..into the comp.haha :P
♥reflected @ 3:36 PM
Tuesday, December 13, 2005 ♥
seems that the article wasn't very useful.
yesterday i was angered until headache couldn't sleep well. haiz. and today i kana sore throat and now having a stupid fever...omg
so tired...
today went for guitar practice again..and only tt little few people came..haiz..and the ogl ppl having camp..and i wasn't very pleased to see them. surprised to see yeow an there..she's so free? she just went for christmas carol.
damn it...hol hw still have to do e-learning...:(
zzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZ
♥reflected @ 7:06 PM
Saturday, December 10, 2005 ♥
saw this on the classified ads recruit newspaper. and it says:
"yOuR M1nD at WoRk" series: Be CoOL as A CucUmBer.
Learn how to manage anger and stop it from hurting your health, your job and relationships.
More often than not, when someone talks about a 'boss from hell', he is describing someone who cannot control his anger, blows his top at the slightest provocation, and has a propensity to release a torrent of expletives when feeling frustrated.
.....
Dr Adrian Wang, consultant psychiatrist at Gleneagles Medical Centre, explained: "Anger is generally not a good thing. It is a maladaptive response to a stressful situation." He added: "It creates feelings of displeasure and hostility in us, and can lead to miscommunication, unhelpful behaviour such as banging tables and shouting, and may worsen an already stressful situation. We must differentiate anger from "good stress"- a feeling of urgency to get things done, which in small amounts, may enhance our effectiveness. But anger is generally not good."
Having said that, it does not mean that bottling up your anger is the solution. "If you suppress your anger, it will eventually come out some other way- it can lead to anxiety, depression, irritability, insomnia, or may cause you to turn to alcohol and drugs to relieve these negative feelings," said Dr Wang,
The key to anger management is to rechannel or redirect your anger, and to deal with it in a more effective manner.
.....
"People with low frustration tolerance, who are rigid and infexible, or are narcissistic and have an inflated sense of self-entitlement, are more prone to anger. On the other hand, if you have someone who suffers from depression or anxiety, he also gets to be more irritable and so, may get angry more easily," he elaborated.
Poorly controlled anger affects your physical and emotional health. It can cause insomnia, headaches, and even raise blood pressure. A person who cannot control his anger is more unhappy and more easily depressed. Anger can affect your work and your relationshops. If there are problems in these areas,it may mean that you are not controlling your anger well. Here are some tips on managing anger:
1: Learn to relax
Relaxation is a skill. A calm person is less prone to feelings of anger. Breathing exercises, yoga, going for a massage are some ways to beat stress.
2: Avoid the triggers
If work or a problem is getting you down, take a break. Sometimes, going on a vacation can help clear your mind and enable you to see things from a fresh angle.
3: Change the way you think
Ask yourself whether the thing that is bothering you is really that important, and is it worth getting angry over. What might the consequences of the perceived problem be? Use logic to overcome your anger.
4: Improve your relationships
Learn to communicate better with people. Nurture relationships and build on your friendships.
5: Walk away if you have to
If all else fails, you may have to just walk away. It may sound simplistic, but pausing to count to 10 and telling yourslef to cool down may actually work.
6: Learn to laugh
Do not underestimate the power of humour. Learn to see the funny side of things. Sometimes, laughing at a situation can help you change the way you perceive things.
_____________________________________
Yup. tt's it. i think it's a good article. cos ya. it's gd for me.
♥reflected @ 12:46 PM
Wednesday, December 07, 2005 ♥
yesterday 4/3 chalet bbq and sd3 class outing at sentosa
in the end i went sentosa. met at ikea first and there were only 4 pple there. in the end, only 9 ppl went sentosa.
just got the picts!
the 1st one :) geez..i didn't notice i was standing so far away..haha hu tell jia yi be so tall?? hmphf! hahaa..ya..didn't want to look so short but in the end i look so off haha
the 2nd one. this one was quite bad too. cos the tree trunk didn't have enough space, so i stood infront of them, but ended up blocking eunice.
this one looks wierd too..haha..
me..trying to finish what they did halfway. seems that our class is always like that..play frisbree play halfway, build sand castle also build halfway...:P
the names of the pple of our class who turned up for the sentosa trip
this is very bad too hahaa. this one was taken by eunice herself, so bearings weren't gd. after this pict i fell into the water and got stepped on the arm by sis. :( haha
theese two seem to be the nices pictures of all..haha..without pple hahaa..very nice scenery of the sunset!! :P haha
ok.. that's all the pictures sent to me by eunice.:) thanks eunice*
and before i end....
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY to Eunice!!! and HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Jia Yi!!!!!
eunice...take care of your health ah!!! hope u'll recover soon!
♥reflected @ 1:09 PM
Sunday, December 04, 2005 ♥
:)
talked to yan ling some days ago. so fun to talk about books. haha :D she was telling me she read sandra brown, whom i think isn't gd at romance, she thinks it's *bleauh* very bad. yup. agree with her. then i was telling her that it's hard to find good romance bks nowadays, so she suggested emily bronte's wuthering heights. after that she told me her sister wrote jane austen. so funny. :) hahaa..cos jane austen was the author of pride and prejudice. and charlotte bronte wrote jane eyre. hahahaa...so funny!! :)
tuesday there's 4/3 barbeque at pasir ris chalet..dunno if i can go. i dun really feel like going..cos i have hell lots of hw to do. :(
♥reflected @ 4:43 PM
Friday, December 02, 2005 ♥
wasted a lot of money on clothes :(
wasted a lot of time on the internet and on books :(
hw hw so much hw. how am i going to finish my hw?
_____________ye qu
夜曲 - 周杰倫
曲︰周杰倫
詞︰方文山
一群嗜血的蚂蚁 被腐肉所吸引 我面无表情 看孤独的风景
失去你 爱恨开始分明 失去你 还有什么事好开心
当鸽子不再象征和平 我终于被提醒 广场上喂食的是秃鹰
我用漂亮的押韵 形容被掠夺一空的爱情
啊 乌云开始遮蔽 夜色不干净
公园里 葬礼的回音 在漫天飞行
送你的 白色玫瑰 在纯黑的环境凋零
乌鸦在树枝上诡异的很安静
静静听 我黑色的大衣 想温暖你 日渐冰冷的回忆
走过的 走过的生命
啊 四周弥漫雾气 我在空旷的墓地 老去后还爱你
为你弹奏萧邦的夜曲 纪念我死去的爱情
跟夜风一样的声音 心碎的很好听
手在键盘敲很轻 我给的思念很小心
你埋葬的地方叫幽冥
为你弹奏萧邦的夜曲 纪念我死去的爱情
而我为你隐姓埋名 在月光下弹琴
对你心跳的感应 还是如此温热亲近
怀念你那鲜红的唇印
那些断翅的蜻蜓 散落在这森林 而我的眼泪 没有丝毫同情
失去你 泪水混浊不清 失去你 我连笑容都有阴影
风在长满青苔的屋顶 嘲笑我的伤心 像一口没有水的枯井
我用凄美的字型 描绘后悔莫及的那爱情
为你弹奏萧邦的夜曲 纪念我死去的爱情
跟夜风一样的声音 心碎的很好听
手在键盘敲很轻 我给的思念很小心
你埋葬的地方叫幽冥
为你弹奏萧邦的夜曲 纪念我死去的爱情
而我为你隐姓埋名 在月光下弹琴
对你心跳的感应 还是如此温暖亲近
怀念你那鲜红的唇印
~wei ni tan zhou xiao bang de ye qu, ji nian wo shi qu de ai qing...~
♥reflected @ 7:31 PM
