Sunday, November 25, 2012 ♥
another day of revelations...
something to be happy about i guess.
just that.. sometimes.. it can be kinda depressing, cos you just keep finding that you're still hopping at the spot and still dunno this and that... i need to choose to think the other way - that i AM growing up. and i should be happy and proud that i am discovering new things, accept that it IS a never ending journey of trying (like how my sis told me), never ending journey of learning. i will only become complacent if i think that what i know is enough, but the actual fact that i need to keep reminding myself is that - there's a lot more.
YET. as i need to acknowledge the fact, i have to tell myself - there is actually nothing to worry about. cos there is nothing. tomorrow has yet to come so it is nothing. why worry or fear? yesterday has passed so it is no more. why dwell in it?
Be brave, open and daring. It's no longer about giving other people chances - it's giving myself the chance. Life is short! Why worry so much? Why think so much? Wait till it comes then worry!
Yep. I have wasted a lot of energy doing all these unnecessary thinking. Wasted a lot of energy trying to fit to everyone, thinking that i am trying to accomodate everyone.
It is ME time.
I have been buried for too long.
It is time to believe in myself and trust that i am capable.
The first emotions i felt was fear, shock and alarm. what am i going to do? what to do?
come to think of it.
it was the same emotions i felt 4 months ago, when I truly discovered, know and accepted my perfectionist character as part of me. haha. oh wells.. kinda different revelation this time. this time i realised another character of me - hahaha. LOL. come to think of it too, the personality test i did during my interview- really is quite accurate. yes. and so i found out that i am always trying to accomodate everybody and suit everyone.. and sorta lost my character and me, when in fact that is part of me.. haha
so.. now..it's time for a better, stronger version of me!
HAHA. which was what my yoga teacher told me before too.
My turn now - to take charge of my life, my thoughts and how it will be. Just try! just experience, just go! Funny these words I have heard before too - from my sis, and from gabriel (who is back!! haha)
Then the question is - now that i know, what do i do? haha. Yep I asked myself this and was a bit hmm..lost.. oh ya.. now what huh? haha. Actually the answer is simple. Just don't say no! Things that I think difficult, think again and may be I can try! Things that I contemplated and didn't want to try, just think again, probably I can! =)
so...i am looking forward to my first class tmr! yeahhh!
and i hope to plan some kinda of holiday for sis and i =)
♥reflected @ 6:26 PM
