This week, i started my training for the new job scope. it's kinda tough, my trainer has high expectations of me, and the rate that she pushes me is actually quite fast.. and together with the other stuffs that i need to manage, it's kinda tough and i was a bit struggling.. she told me that i have to slowly move slightly out of tt area of in-charge...
the training itself.. it's kinda tough, after just doing one round, my arm was painful and my hand was trembling.. another girl is learning as well.. and i have this feeling that she and her trainer are kinda competitive.. tt gives me a little pressure, and i have been trying to just focus on myself and work on myself; not to be distracted by other people. there have been people asking after me - 'how's ur training' etc.. and yup. definitely i have a lot to study and remember..

the last weeks were kinda struggling.. emotionally and physically.. a lot of instability.. confusion.. and i realised there were some things, be it ideas/beliefs/activities that i try too hard to hold on to.. which stresses me out, stresses people out unknowingly. and a simple thing becomes harder than it seems.

yesterday.. somehow i found my way out.. kinda like enlightenment? not really, it just felt probably like my mind was clearer, my brain was more open, and i could actually really 'hear' what the yoga instructor was talking about - i really could understand what was going on, i felt my body, felt the asanas, felt my breath. it was like finally i was doing yoga. i was just breathing through my poses, just doing yoga.. there were moments definitely, that my thoughts would wonder away.. and then i catch myself and sorta coax myself back to emptiness and focus on the moment.

  

♥reflected @ 12:08 PM