reflections

Sunday, March 11, 2012 ♥

and so i have hurt my hand; sprained my wrist. sighs. main reason i was too heavy and i was trying to practice the crane posture at home.. and there i sprained my wrist. after that i was supporting a pt and then the weight fell onto my wrist again. it's been three weeks.. and last morning when i woke up it was even more painful. as a result i finally bought myself a wrist compression guard.

because of the wrist problem + diarrhea + lack of sleep, i was totally not in good form to do yoga yesterday. and indeed, i couldn't do most of the postures at all, my breathing was irregular and weak; i felt myself trembling and panting, weak, most of the time. even the instructor had to say, if you're not in a good condition today, don't have to force it; it's not a competition, just do as much as you can.

every posture i thought about my wrist, giving myself a lot of stress and couldn't focus at that moment of the pose. i was worried about it, especially because i know that in future when i start my training, and even when i move on further in my job, there is a chance that i hurt my wrist a lot more, that together with a sprained back. and there when i already have a stiff back and regular back pain, plus a sprained wrist now, how am i going to sign the bond and start on my training?

then the bond itself. before i can even start training, i have to sign a contract, and before that can happen, i have to have 2 guarantors. the moment i heard that, i was fighting tears. parents are out, siblings are out. friends......? immediately i felt my world turn dark and gloomy, and myself, deserted and lonely. so when i finally reached the last pose - corpse pose - i think i was stressed to the max. upset that i couldn't control my feelings, focus on the moment, let go of the worries and do yoga properly.. upset that i am stressed about the guarantor thing, but have no one to share the burden with.. esp not my mum.. upset that i am stressed. and suddenly i decided to let go.. and there as i let out my tears.. i felt my pressure release as well.

after that, when my sis called, we talked about it, and she reminded me, that i just have to relax now. there's no need to be perfect, or do it very accurately, very well or anything.. just do it, let go and try to have fun..

and then the next class, i was much more relaxed.. and i just focused on myself, on doing my yoga. i keep wondering though, if i continue the beginner and intermediate classes in future, can i suggest to the instructor to put the beginner class before the intermediate? hmms.. perhaps in future i won't continue the beginner class though.. the thing is, i realised i am learning new stuffs, even though i am repeating the beginner class.. perhaps this only further proves the statement "温故知新" more true.

anyways, i've already decided more or less, i guess, although i'm still worried about the hazards of the job, that i'll be signing on.. plus i already have a trainer, she's confirmed my trainer, and she's not bad..supposedly to be good even. so.. yep.. that means about 2 yrs i definitely have keep working there.. (i truly hope they'll raise our pay though.. haha.. but really, how to survive if the inflation rates keep going up?)

now that means, i have to really study and also increase my strength - all mentally, physically, and emotionally. really gotta equip myself with knowledge and perseverance and courage - to continue despite all difficulties - to do with work or people.

do wish me all the best for the start of my new journey!

=)

i got myself a new yoga bag! =D yep! haha.. even though i had to travel all the way down to tampines to get it.. muahaaha tt was kinda crazy.. but still =)
i'm looking forward to getting a new and better yoga mat too.. haha.. one good one, cos my current ones keep getting torn..

GANBATTE! YOU CAN DO IT!

♥reflected @ 4:35 PM