Monday, August 16, 2010 ♥
孟子说:“故天将大任于斯人也，必先苦其心志，劳其筋骨，饿其体肤，空乏其身，行拂乱其所为，所以动心忍行，增益其所不能。人恒过，然后能改。困于心，衡于虑，而后作。征于色，发于声，而后喻。入则无法家拂士，出则无敌国外患者，国恒亡。然后知生于忧患而死于安乐也。”
那是中二，杨老师教的吧，除非我记错了。
真的希望能苦尽甘来。但希望越大，失望也就有可能会越大 - 从小就知道了这个道理。
因此会感到有些无奈和担心。其实想想人生还蛮矛盾的，一会儿说是不因该杞人忧天，但是一定要未雨绸缪；不能好高骛远，要脚踏实地却又不可得过且过；不能当一天和尚，敲一天钟，但是常常计划好的半路就会杀出个程咬金。
曾经有一段时间，我觉得仿佛看不到亮光，而因此感到伤心绝望。不仅如此，有时也会感到懊恼，做起事来更是力不从心。那段时期仿佛过了且也没有彻底地销声匿迹。有时以为是自己强壮了，原来有时是胆怯，自暴自弃和懦弱代替了伤心变成了逃避。敞开心时，又觉得其实都一样，因为真的，想做的不一定能做，所谓的逃避，其实是真的因为环境和压力下不能完成的事。
中学时期，读过很多励志故事等，什么放手会更好啦等等的。可能到了一个年纪之后，就会看得比较清楚？可能...
什么都是空的。
这就是我 - 就是会想很多有的没的，倒不如去睡觉来补充我已缺乏到不行的睡眠。
yes. that's me.
thursday, went for a run with my friends. in the end, i ran really badly, cos my mind just started to jumble up with thoughts, even though i keep trying to tell it to focus at the job at hand - which was just to put my feet forward and run.
today was spent entirely at the lab. science research uses time and energy. i still can't understand how some pple at the age of 60+ are still dedicated to their research work; as i admire their perseverance, and passion. for till now, i seem to view it as an endless journey... no matter how many aims and objectives one assigns and set out to achieve..
yesterday after work, i set off to packet food and it started to thunderstorm. got drenched in the rain again, and clambered to the lab, wet and cold. again, another late night at the lab. my prof doesn't know that my tuition work means the entire day.. meaning till the evening. but just as i told my students, judges of the competition, examiners who mark your paper - they don't care whatever your situation is or whatever valid reasons, be it sick or sorts, you will still face the same judgment. no sympathy points.
that i understand very well - but it is still very tedious and tiring.
sometimes, having a shoulder to lean on, is really good.. and a luxury it may be.
but at the same time, it may become a weakness and vulnerability.
♥reflected @ 3:30 AM
