Sunday, July 05, 2009 ♥
有时候，真的会感觉的很烦很烦。心里好像有好多好多事一样，其实来来去去都是一样的那些事情。似乎，永无止境，无法改变。家里的事，学校的事，朋友的事，心里的事。
在家其实并没有更轻松，在外头，也没有不心烦。
假期里好像每次都没有特别的enjoy，这次似乎更糟糕。六月就这样飞过了。。。
现在大多的时间都呆在家里看电视，或者出去学车，学车后，到附近的地方走走。也没有像别人一样，旅行，购物·；尽量做好自己的本分。
到现在，我还是摆脱不了心里的一些感觉。对工作上的不如意，对读书的懊恼。似乎自信心真的减少了很多。不是似乎，是感觉真的如此。对自己，失去了很多的信心。因为家事，因为工作，因为成绩，也因为自己。心有余而力不足。或是，努力了再努力，都没有进步，也不会有改变。失望和怀疑自己的能力。
可能，表面上，我似乎没什么，也好像蛮勇敢的。。。
妹问我，这假期里，除了她和家人以外，想最多的是谁。想了想，有一个人，我想过很多次。因为一直感到遗憾。没有放弃，因为根本不知道，所以本来就没有机会放弃。
读书让我烦恼，因为一直觉得读的不是我喜欢的。可是事实就是这样。
这假期里，努力做了为别人做的事。直到自己有些怀疑，是不是因为如此，所以没有自己喜欢的事了？今天发现不是，是有自己喜欢的事，只是不会做，或没有机会做。也是，没有能力凭什么去做？所以更加的不开心。
看到别人毫无负担地过，难免会妒忌。。。看到别人开心幸福，发现其实门当户对真的是必要的，也是很重要。
白雪公主不存在,灰姑娘也不是真实的。童话故事是虚构的，偶像剧也不会在现实社会里发生。
anyways, this week. didn't do much again.
on wednesday, strangely, we, as in bro, mum, sis and I, went to eat lunch together.
after yoga class, i walked back home, changed into shoes, then we went to jp to eat lunch. we had lunch at crystal jade, which made me and sis very surprised. somehow my bro was in a good mood then.
food!
we ate super a lot that day. so much. we were so full; both sis and i were so shocked and surprised that we ordered so much food. 4 bowls of noodles, hai jie, xiao long bao, shui jiao, fish, nuo mi ji. woots.
yesterday i bought myself a pair of running shoes. my old running shoes from 4 years ago, already thrown away...didn't intend to buy actually, cos i thought i could just run in the shoes that i wear to driving.. but i guess running really need proper shoes, cos my legs hurt really quite badly after that.
i decided i would run more often, especially since now i bought new running shoes to run with.
spent a lot of time, walked quite a no. of places, before i bought that pair... dun want to spend too much, but still want a good pair... trying to save money..since i made new specs, and in future for my hair i guess.. hmm. i think i need new clothes for schl too.. but i guess i'd probably save that too..
i hope time will pass slower... and cors not to come too soon.
and everything to pass smoothly.
♥reflected @ 7:12 PM
