reflections

Sunday, October 26, 2008 ♥

for a long time, maybe even now and in the future, i would be in a lot of dilemmas, and self-struggle. should i do this? should i not? can i do it, am i able to do it?

there are many things i want to do. so many.
yet i lack confidence in myself. i guess tt makes a considerable part of the reason why i'm in such a confusion, or maybe hesistation or indecision.

and also. debating with myself, if i should do some of the stuffs. cos i know that i need to be responsible. but i have been quite irresponsible to myself.

walking out of line and losing track of stuffs are kinda bad. yesh. bad. and i have done so. and i've decided to find myself back. just now. like finally. when i was bathing, when i suddenly had this notion that i really have to.

yesh. actually i should have already known? besides, some people around me ard me have already told me this and that.

STUDIES. are and have to be the most important and sole objective of my life now. until finals are over. i have been lazy, have slacked, have wandered off, have been distracted. so much. so i really really got to get back my concentration, and really FOCUS.

after finals. then i'm qualified to do all those things that i want to do and plan to do. Then can i do. then can i try. then can i worry abt them.

things i have to sacrifice now for studies, i shld and have to. so i got to tell myself to smack my own hand and close my eyes and let go. and I WILL get them back in very near future.

yeah. =) i must keep this up. must must. cos i've been kinda demoralized, and been very sad and dejected. and lost.

so. tt's tt.

last week was horrible.

the previous week was even more horrible.

mainly bcos of open lab.

horrible things that happened. spillage of chemicals, lousy pple, lack of help, miserable, lost, loneliness. all those crap.

but still sorta lived thr.

blogging them will be too dejecting and naggy and complainy so. ya. forget it.

one lighter thing that happened was me and sis won a pair of bears =) on monday. haha. kinda random. cos we just came out after the lecture, and there was this table there outside the lecture hall about international friendship day or smth, and there was this random game- find a country, answer a qn regarding olympics and throw a ping pong ball and know down the prism kinda. and so my clever sis managed to my qn and her qn. so we won two bears, a guy and a girl. haha. yup. took a pict with them, but it's not in the comp yet.

i've to stop thinking abt some things and feeling sad abt them. move on.

by the way. jay chou's new album is out already. for some time already. capricon. 魔杰座。kinda nice. some beautiful songs. and so jay.

haha.

oh ya. was distracted just now. by the 933 awards ceremony. eason chen singing. never really heard his songs or seen him song, but just now, when i saw it. i was quite filled with admiration for his presence on stage and ability to capture attention, and put in his heart and enjoy the singing. i found the song he sang quite motivating too.

and check these out. HAHA.

from one of my fav scenes from beethoven virus.

v.s a guitar and violin version.

v.s an older fashion version.

v.s girls trying to hip it out version.

v.s a beatbox cum flute version

v.s a choir version.

it's kinda cool actually.

HAHAHA.

oh ya. may i just remind you pple, the very first video, the one taken from the show? the actress (cello-ist) can't play the instrument. really. all those pple are actors, the main characters took lessons and only know basics. cool right. HAHA.

and i'm quite sure now also.
that you pple are bored of this song le. after listening to it so many times. haha.

ok that's all for now.

BAXIA!

♥reflected @ 10:17 PM