Wednesday, May 14, 2008 ♥
hi.
exams have been over for almost one week now.
haven't done anything special yet.
hmm
after exams on thurs went to jp to meet my mum for lunch and we kinda celebrated the end of exams at swensons. even tho we had quite a bad start, cos i got really angry at some things. but luckily the day ended still quite okay. haiz.
coincidentally, we met jia hui and joan.
but we went home straight after that, cos my leg couldn't stand the pain anymore. reason bcos i had a fall earlier. =(
but its recovering now. haiz. i was upset at myself cos i injured myself even before the exams ended, and somemore while i was still having flu, and my mum was upset, and it was my fault for being overconfident.
so other than staying home i couldn't do much. which was really quite sad, cos my sis went out to play bball almost and i had to stay home when i want to exercise too.
i actually wanted to scare pple off with picts of my injury. then i thought better not. haha.
fri brought sis to jp again to shop for her shoes, luckily i told her to buy bball shoe in the end. phew. before we went to shop we went to arcade to play a bit. lucky there weren't pple looking at us. hahah. cos i was quite lousy. haha. arcade is a waste of money tho.
saturday went to work and it was a longer day cos had to do make up cos of the exam on a previous sat.. but from this wk it would be back to shorter.. HAIZ. sad. after work, also went home also..cos..can't rmbr why.. forgot. but its smth to do with my sis wanting to do smth.
sunday went out to imm. cos it was mother's day, and we were late to meet my mum and bro cos my sis spent so much time choosing wat to wear. haha. we went to eat fish and co and tt day, really burnt big holes in my pocket. cos we also bought our mum a really ex gift. haiz.
tt means i really have to find a work really soon. haiz.
ie for this 'hols' before schl starts in august, i need to earn more money and meet people, go out, do stuff, buy things, and also plan next sem's mods before bidding which is i have no idea when. haiz. i hate bidding and cors. give damn hell lot of stress and worry and agitation and anxiety. rarh.
at least i cleared one thing today which is shop for basic necessities to stock up. other than that, i haven't been doing much except watching tv and shows online. and also some very old hong kong drama which was showing in 1980, which is even before me, sis and bro were born. my mum introduced it. some betting game. called 千王之王. it was quite boring at the start, cos it was quite slow (i mean it's 1980 anyway), but it got more and more exciting along the way.
actually thought of quite many things that i want to do after the exams even while i was studying for the finals.. but.. nthing's really moving.. i've been like just plain slacking. haiz.
i guess besides being lazy and sianed, one big reason is MONEY. cos like going out = spending money. haiz.
but will be meeting chun fong, ai pheng, chingli and i think peisi and piakloo soon. over the weekend perhaps.. dunno. i told them plan just inform me. i haven't met all of them for quite long already.. except for chun fong.
will be meeting tania and ? dunno who yet. soon. haha. cos same i told joei to plan too.
see. haha. i dun plan, i ask pple plan. cos i'm a lousy planner for meetings and outings. already had a taste of doing it, and i know i'm not gd at tt and it sux. so really, THANK YOU to those pple who plan. haha.
there are some pple too, tt i want to meet. quite a lot. but.. i don't think they want to meet me. or smth. watever it is. it's sad. cos it's like.. oh ya i shall use a metaphor which i was explaining to my students last week about a tom sawyer compre saying the raft floating away was like 'burning a bridge between' them and civilisation. i feel a great distance. that i tried hard to cross but i guess, failed. i dunno wat happened. probably it's just me. they realised i didn't fit into their criteria of frens.. or they thought that i didn't turn out to be wat they expected or. watever.
but like i once said. sometimes i really feel like giving up. but i can't help feeling this 'why some pple hang on tt thin thread called hope.'
sometimes staying home is quite stressful too.
haiz.
i wish.
my dad will have more determination and be more independent. and dun disappoint me further than how i am already.
i'm really sorry to mum. for the so many things i want to do properly, but i can't and didn't.
i feel really shitty. sometimes.
but when you don't think abt some things. esp.
life is still going on. bcos life has to go on. and time still goes.
hmm.
♥reflected @ 11:57 PM
