Saturday, March 29, 2008 ♥
=(
sad, vexed and frustrated.
there are so many things that put weight on me.
i always console myself by telling myself that it's ok, i'll just be stronger than others. but am i really? besides, being stronger is good? independent may sound good but sometimes it equates to solo. and sometimes solo is gd. becos it gives less responsibilities for others, but sometimes it equates to just living.
i always feel sad for many things. i seemed to always have been so. since young. i always rmbr the times i used to cry for almost hours continuously, while others simply get annoyed with me. i think of so many things. helpless situations, jealousy, stress, hopelessness, regret, sadness.
but recently i have not been doing tt. only once in a long while when something happens. and tt's bcos uni and work have kept me busy.
family. friends. studies. work. money.
why is there so much worries in the world. why do we have to live? i've asked myself, so has a number of people asked me.
i've read quite a lot of books. written by different authors, not that i read specifically about life issues like that, but i don't think anybody really knows the truth? surely people can answer tt question, with all sorts of answers, influenced by all sorts of factors like religion, family upbringing, school etc etc. but...
nevertheless,
i've told myself to put aside all thoughts and simply focus on studies and work. but...
giving up is never easy, so is not giving up.
i wish one day all the worries and problems will just disappear on their own.
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anyways. today after work, when we reached home about 6.30pm, sis wanted to play bball, so i decided might as well i go run. so i went running until 7.10~ and decided b4 i go home i go find her since i promised tt i'll play with her after my run. but was quite unhappy and frustrated that i couldn't use the time (even if i skep watching the tv) to do stuffs for schl. but didn't manage to. i was quite annoyed too, cos everytime we pass by any bball court,.....
but haiz.
so we played bball with 2 boys. and they were really young kids. about 7to 8 years younger.
so i felt really old.
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this week was a very bad week, very.
nxt week as in tmr there's still lab reports, proposals and summaries to do.
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i can't help but always feel regret and sadness whenever i think that i've lost quite a no of things etc.
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i'm feeling sleepy and tired......... but i've still got
ten thousand tonnes of things to do...
zzzzzzzzzZZZ
♥reflected @ 11:05 PM
