Sunday, January 13, 2008 ♥
was thinking of blogging. then didn't want to. cos i want to spend this night or early morning watching some last vids before schl starts. but wth.
anyway. my sis solved the chinese input thing which i cldn't...and now i can blog in chinese! wow. hmm. i haven't touched chinese for so long already.. time to start practising.. esp since i just took up a chinese mod.
chinese mod. ya.
haiz. means quite a lot of trouble..but nevertheless still have to face it one day...hmm. tt means have to go to schl on monday.. lessons start on tuesday.. but tues morning i made a dental appointment..which was bcos.
i went to see a dentist on fri.. wasn't good.. made another appt but decided to find another place...
watever it is.
i hate dental visits.. cos i hate knowing that i haven't been taking care of myself properly and so on so on.. etc etc. thats jus one reason..
on wed took part in channel u k-wave party at gvmarina with sis. yeah! won tickets! was really happy. wat was even more amazing.. was that i also won the giant coffeeprince poster which i think almost everyone there were eyeing for. lucky me. they had an amazing way for 'lucky draws' too. too bad i didn't guess abt the seats. haha.
was thinking of posting picts...but saw no pt eventually..its on my sis's blog anyway.
today.
went for a job interview.
cos last week..i called and found out me and sis are no longer employed.
i was very angry.
but what to do.
haiz.
so after much hardship finally found this..went for interview today.
but.
its v far. in upper bukit timah. a place tt i'm not familiar.
i dun think i suit it.
cos my style of teaching is different. even though i feel that tt way is great.. but frankly.
teaching that way is really good. interesting and all.
but i personally, i don't like my own teachers like tt. i'd rather them come to the point and tell me what i need to do well.
discovery of knowledge...i guess..i'm jus not very good at it..i'm better at accepting knowledge and passing down knowledge and stuffs.
i wish i have the charisma and spontaniety..
hence. i'm worried abt my ability to take on the job and face the challenges and stress that may come with it. i lack confidence in myself whether i can cope.
with the job. the stress.
together with school. the ultra stress.
lab. lab reports.
the really tough and chim stuff... the long hours...
i have been really angry.
and frustrated. and vexed. and sad.
apart from bidding and schl stuffs which really sux...
its the feeling of disappointment..disgust
i just hope my dad. will.
even if u dun truly care for the rest of us anymore,
do it for urself and by urself. stop trying to rely on the nonsense stuffs.
look at mum. look at us.
please dun make me give up completely. i can't imagine wat'll happen. maybe i did try to imagine. i imagined the hate and sadness if anything breaks up, even though
i should stop here.
i just wish
the world has no worries.
just as those have given up on me, unto them will i do the same.
but before that i must be strong.
even if i dun want to be. even tho i want to just..depend on some1..i can't.
cos noone will always be there and be strong enough for another.
btw.
i found out tt my bro removed the chinese input function.. which means i can't blog in chinese.
btw. think i shld change my blogskin? i think so.. but never get to doing it.
♥reflected @ 1:07 AM
