Wednesday, January 02, 2008 ♥
2008.
only one wish.
that it'll be good.
that everything will be good.
i'll continue to do my best in everything.
i have so many hopes.
but bcos 2004-2007 had all been quite not good.
theres a chinese saying that says the more hopes u have the more disappointed u get.
but theres also a saying that says hope helps one to live.
but i say. sometimes. sayings mean nothing. u try to believe in smth. but u may end up doubting it. so wat's the point of trying to believe. some say its to help one to conquer his fears. i say its to help one evade his fears. some say its bcos u dun believe enough. i say its bcos nothing can ever be 100%.
i just had a hair cut today.
i hate cutting my hair. i hate people who cut my hair. i hate feeling unhappy after cutting my hair.
and 2 of them have yanked my earring. and today one yanked so hard until it bled.
i said cutting my hair is like visiting a dentist.
its like.
having an exam and waiting for results.
when u put ur life in hands of others.
some say dun exaggerate. its not tt big a matter. and maybe have a good laugh.
but i say. wait till u experience it.
again all say. u're not in my shoes, u won't understand.
i say. tt's why every1 thinks their lives are damn bad, tt's why they all think life is not fair to them, tt's why no one can be satisfied and according to who? cant remember...durkheim? no.. but ya according to some sociologist and some who think it common sense which i learnt has no link or sorts... that is why there are beliefs and such. but well.
i think. yeah. all these help a number of pple to live, no matter what they call that.
but life is hard? forget the crap that goes life's never easy.. life is hard so that u noe when it's good.
sometimes u confuse urself over all these so much u become more troubled in the end.
so why not.
just live it.
cos u have to live it.
that's why even tho i hate a lot of the things and responsibilities that have to be done in life, i still continue doing it. not bcos i have ultimate bravery/ strength, but bcos these responsibilities are not smth u can push away; they're part of living.
whoever wants to be strong? i don't want to. but yet i try to be and remain strong.
whoever won't want a shoulder to lean on and cry on?
but bcos a shoulder won't or never is going to be always or once around, u've got to learn.
to walk alone.
i thank those.
who helped me to understand that. and i hoped more of the pple ard me understand that too.
still and always. i feel sad. for those who have given me up. so much so that i have also given them up.
perserverence isn't always good. cos too much leads to stubborn-ess. which in turn leads to sadness and problems when changes have to take place.
after typing. like how i always do. when i post such reflections or sorts. i would wonder.
wat crap am i typing.
ha.
anyway.
happy 2nd day of 2008.
♥reflected @ 8:17 PM
