Monday, December 24, 2007 ♥
12.54am. Monday, Christmas eve.
but i shall take this as yesterday. yup. cos i haven't slept yet. so its still today. yup.
today met up with 4/3 from nan hua. according to louis and siyuan 28 people turned up. which is a lot. wow. yup. jus dunno if more came after i left.
i was glad that i was late. very actually. cos even tho i was late, so i had less time to talk to them until the final decision to go up to eat, i already felt strange and worried when i ran out of stuffs to say.
actually.
today. okay before i narrate my feelings, i shld narrate wat happened first.
so we went to eat. a whole lot of us. spent quite a bit on lousy food already..then after tt. walked out to decide wat to do. took pictures. then they decide to go ktv. which i decided not to go along, cos i realised i dun want to end up with little to no money for the day.. and i already felt a bit lost alr. which comes to my feelings. yup.
after tt i went to find my mum and sis at chinatown.
and i keep feeling.
kinda sad. and bitter.
that. i was facing difficulties trying to communicate again and trust myself. that i dun really know anybody really well.that i am explaining that using the events that happen tt year.
i worry a lot. at times. but push away a lot too at times.
somethings seem like cannot be changed.
some things. that i will keep feeling bitter about. some things that my sis and mum will also keep feeling bitter about, yet dun want to voice it out, and when we do, we get really sad and bitter. but when we try to hide it away, we or maybe just i seem to get further away fr each other.
i'm glad to see almost all of 4/3 today.
it was a lot of people. and amazing. how we all came.
too bad i couldnt stay throut.
but how would have i felt if i did?
already not too long after i already have felt the loneliness the feeling of lost..
how long would i have lasted? pretending tt these feelings are just temporal or just my oversensitivity? or try to hide them away? probably i wld have ended even more sad than i now am.
i'm sorry. i keep feeling sorry. all throughout my years of schl to uni. i feel that i have lost so much. frenship frm ard me. maybe they still are. just further away and hard to feel. or just not close.
but things are just like wat it seems to be. unpredictable.
i can't believe 2007 has passed this way.
but it has.
anyway. heres some pictures.
3o3o3 20sept2003 at esplanade.
and 4o3o4 23dec2007 at orchard.
all of us have changed, yet nothing seems to have changed.
this week was busy again.
monday met up together with sis, with sab, tania and gabriel for lunch at sumo jap food, didn't take photos..haiz. then sab left. and we headed to jurong east to ice skate.
we skated for v long.
it felt kinda strange actually. ice skating. it felt v..
cos. it seemed v similar to myself rollerblading below my block alone the day before.
someone fell down. and had a cut on his face. it was terrible.
i think. i'm not going to ice skate for a very long time. not becos of the guy who fell down, but bcos it felt like rollerblading myself alone.
after tt we went to take neoprints. which was quite fun, and the stickers were really quite gd.
glad tt we eventually had this outing. it was a great experience.
tuesday started to have aches all over due to ice skate and falling down. but still went all the way down to ps to meet og members with my sis. which was disappointing cos we simply wasted a lot of time waiting for them to eat.. and after they finished eating sis decided to leave, and i decided to agree. on the train. we had a nonsense quarrel. and i really did realise it was my own fault.
on wednesday. went to get new phones. finally. mine's samsung. and sis's sony ericsson. wasted entire afternoon waiting at the shop. then went ard the mall, then ate dinner.
on thursday, finally got to stay home. but also can't rembered wat i did.
on friday, went to imm, cos i idiotly spoilt the camera. and ended up the fella said we had to go to redhill which is damn far, and i havent figured out wat to do nxt, but i plan to face the responsibility since i spoilt it. went ard imm trying to look for a pair of shoes, which annoyed mum and sis, cos i can't seem to like any. then came back jurong. was kinda forced to buy a pair of sandals cos of the bad salesperson's attitude.. but nvm. still likeable and wearable. i do like it.but not really wat i intended to buy..
on saturday, no unbeatables to watch.. sianed. went out to play bball with sis, even tho i originally didn't want to.. rented another show again..
yup. so today.
over the hols. have watched a number of good movies. spiderman 3 was really awesome. ratatouille was really cute and sweet. eye in the sky was really touching and exciting and unnerving. all the above i watched them twice. today watched confession of pain, shang chen. which was woa. good. i already wanted to watch it a long time ago, but some1 said it wasn't gd, so never. but mum said she heard it was gd, so rented it ytd, and watched it. which i thought was gd. the storyline was splendid. the filming and the actors. gd. sorta reminded me of jay chou's ye de di qi zhang mv. chim.
borrowed books to read.. but haven't really started on any. nvr had the mood to. haiz.
i worried. about uni.
as all i always am.
about life. about family. about work.
have been watching huang jin yi the serial. its quite gd.
hmm.
i think i shall end here.
i think..
i shall change my blogskin one day.
btw,
merry christmas.
i really hope this christmas can be happy.
i also hope nxt yr can be happy.
i hope. for courage. for the entire family. incl myself.
courage.
so tt we can face all.
and hang on.
i really do love them.
even tho i dun really show it.
omg.
i feel like.
crying.
♥reflected @ 12:18 AM
