Monday, October 15, 2007 ♥
tired.
i was already thinking of what to type here while i was in the toilet. hah.
yup. i guess i shall start from last monday. monday was.. ok ba. saw melvin ard in schl repeatedly which was kinda funny. had a gd lunch after chem tut but bad in a way cos heaty laksa and fattening. then stats tut. both were.. quite..hmm.
tuesday was spent reading chem when i was supposed to study for bio test for wednesday.
wed was hectic. lab doing some melting point determination which caused us to be late for it lect 30 mins. but we ended up not listening and wasting effort cos we were so tired we fell asleep. then break ate lunch with da jie tiffany. chatted quite a bit then go print notes. which was bad event cos printer bad and then late for bio test which was a real OMG. says so 5 MCQ and 1 structured. but get the real thing- 5 MCQs with abcde and each shade true or false. and you get wrong -1 mark not 0 which was kinda strange. u dunno if u shld try put smth or not but it's damn wierd if u just leave it empty. not only tt. the qns abt bacteria with strange names that OMG. wth never see b4. so it says open book. not much help. and we had to print notes after lect and thus reach home at only 8+. which was bad again cos theres soci test e next day.
thursday 12 am was still studying. actually not really. cos i gave up half way and slept all the while on the table. early morning 8am lect took cab again (i'm going damn broke)which was a waste of money cos sis and i both fell asleep thr out e entire lect. chem lect i managed to stay awake (WOW) but sis still slept the entire lect away. then rushed to engin for soci test.. was kinda nervous cos it was cold and it was e first soci essay ever. still came out ok.. then thurs night was bad again cos i crammed up so tired trying to do up the beginnings of it proj.
friday soci tut at arts. i nearly died-ed cos my grp was kinda strange. there was this girl who supposedly had lots to say strangely didn't say anything so i had to talk abt the whole qn myself which was strange cos the rest just kept quiet and it became as if i was trying to act clever or smth which was so yuan wang. nvm. then lunch. then it tut which was kinda slack just showed ta the startings of the proj. then rushed to carpark for bio lab to changi beach. was shocked to realise tt we were only 5 mins late but was already the last bus. apparently there were only 2? but phew. so when we reached it was very windy and rained a bit.. so cldn't really do anything.. ended up looking at beings caught by tas alr in fish tanks and abit of stuffs ard...and then test..which was hmm.
went back to schl and then left to je. best thing of the day was tt i met my students. was damn happy to see the bunch of guys doing well. but was kinda surprised how maturedly dressed they were; they cldn't recognise me somemore. hah. but was really great to see them and chat to them. their promos are over, hence celebrating (altho they didn't do very well for my subj..hah) but really really happy and xin wei to see them good. and good means being good. ya get wat i mean? i didn't see them drinking and stuff. haha.
but after tt i had a stomachache. the usual thing i always get. the last time it occured was in jc which was v long ago. i guess i really need to. get away fr sitting and probably exercise more (it helps ba).. but kinda impossible.
saturday public hol.. spent the day reading chem, soci and looking at it.. but didn't achieve much, but was damn tired. had headache and pains in eyes and everything..
then sunday.. work. started off quite ok but even they cld see i was really tired. then ate cup mee for lunch and made a mistake to mix it with latte, ended up with a damn headache..but still went on with work..bad thing happened at work-i accidentally kicked the door and my toe nail went ka-cha! damn pain and it bled. haiz.
another bad thing happened. they quarrelled again.. and so they called. and i felt quite bad cos i was helpless and cldn't go off cos at work.
i have thought seriously abt it b4.
1. live on in same house but ignore each other. (but tt doesn't seem to be working.)
2. somebody move out. (nobody wants to, and can afford to)
3. divorce. (seems like nobody wants to)
4. i do the job. (but i can't really quit schl can i?)
5. respite care.
choice 5. i'm seriously thinking abt it. 1stly. can i afford? 2nd. is there really this need? is it really going to go on like this 4ever? 3rd. even tho 1 party really wants, the other refuses.
so all my choices are out. life still goes on. but it seems to be worsening.......i have alr ruled out counselling..(tho i was really intent on going on with it) cos see? i can list out all these myself and those who really need aren't going. wat's e pt of me going.
there is still 1 choice tho. live and wait. wait for somebody up there to do smth. and if it really comes down to that, i hope and trust tt smth will be done.
so as for wat i can do now. i guess it's just really study hard, work hard and do my best as much as i can.
hah. see how mature i am? HAHA. no..i'm not. i'm bad. i still watch youtube. watch crunchyroll etc. and so on. when come on. i'm already damn sleep deprived and lack of time to study. bad girl.
haiz.
amazing how life is. it keeps going downhill.
amazing how this is. my blog is more than 3 years old already. and i have lived more than a decade. and for these 3 years jus in these past 3 yrs so many things can happen.
amazing how this post is. so long. and so personal. it's taking me more than 40 mins to type.
amazing how the time now is. so early in the monday morning. later i still have 8 am lectures. let me be able to crawl out of bed in time to take bus. pls.
been spending quite many times worrying abt how much stuffs there are to be done.
one step at a time. tt's wat 2 persons told me. can i really do tt? maybe it's not a can i. it's a no choice. cos worrying doesn't make a diff. but it does. cos it stresses u up. gd or bad. gd cos it pushes u. bad cos it drags u down.
oh wow. i shld really stop now.
i'm going to work on my lab report now. at this hour. hah. wow.
♥reflected @ 12:56 AM
