Friday, August 24, 2007 ♥
wah lao.
this is sorta like. hmm. stressful.
this week is quite another stressful week. damn sian-edning.
tutorials are coming nxt wk. OmG.
okay. at first i wanted to start by talking about the crap confusion i got myself in just bcos of smth called the d&d. but i changed my mind, i'll shall do the usual kind of narrating again.. so that it sorta sounds more systematic.
on monday, woke up damn late almost 1 hr later than what i was supposed to, rushed to eat breakfast changed and took a cab with sis to schl, got caught in the damn traffic, and ended up in schl still late, almost the same time i could have gotten if we had taken the bus instead. waste money.
on tuesday, went to schl to swim.
on wednesday, had IT lecture which was omg again. and so was bio lect which was worse.
on thursday, we had the crazy cycle again. and all the lectures were damn omg. damn stressful. hardly understand anything.
uni sucks. cos i dun understand anything. and nobody explains, nobody cares if you understand or not. which is shit.
today was damn bad. i think the worse day of the week. we had practical. supposedly 2-6, but ended at 7. know why? cos it was damn shit.
we were expected to read our pract notes b4 we came, which i did, TWICE, but couldn't understand a crap bit. and then we had to do like so many things, smears, stains, listen to TA talking chim and un-understandable stuffs that i find it almost impossible to absorb, and the worst thing, to observe and try to record. i hate this especially becos you totally have no f-ing idea wat to expect, you dunno if u r observing correctly etc. i hate microscopes. i hate microbiology. i hate science. dun ask me why i entered science.
and the GUYS. wah lao. i thought i have seen the worse of men already. apparently the whoever wants us to keep knowing BAD humans. damn ungentlemanly. damn selfish.
wah lao. i hate reports.
it's kinda crappy. esp when me and my sis are like living in the same house, sharing the comp? like how to not compare notes and stuff and end up writing the same thing? but we aren't supposed to do that cos we will end up failing if we do. RARH.
and then there is damn extra guy. wah lao. pls understand ur responsibilities lah. stop trying to chat up the girls la. and pls. you're one of the blind ones too la pls. HEN XIA leh!
so we ended abt 7, the last 2 students to walk out of the lab. and decided we need to find food. msged seniors asked them if want to eat, but they couldn't. so we decided tt we shall megabites. but wth. there were lots of ppl there and they even booked the megabites and disallowed us food.
so eventually me and sis had to go canteen to hope for a stall which hasn't closed yet (cos we didn't want to have to stop anywhere) and luckily there was, and we even had quite a filling dinner.
first time. after so long. i blog so much abt wat has been happening. minus the v personal stuffs still it's a lot.
wat else ya.
some emotional confusion.
cos of this thing called d&d and some family matters. all sums abt maturity.
wat i always conclude to others is that everything is a growing up process and it's puberty.(which sometimes sound so quite crap, but in fact it's quite true)
how mature am i? how mature have i been when i try to understand my family and try to fit in and try to calm things down/give advice/break things up/trying to sound wise.
how mature am i? certainly i am not mature (i realised this fr my sis) cos i thought of going to d&d. with my family's condition like this. i am most certainly childish to think of playing and going out.
how mature am i? certainly i am not cos i can spend so long confusing and irritating myself up with the d&d. and not yet come to a conclusion.
maybe i shld change the qn to how childish am i instead huh. but i thought i was mature enough. giving that i have been working so much and sometimes to the extent that i almost do nothing except work.
but i guess. i am immature. esp in handling issues. and i have made mistakes.
why. am i so then. i thought.. but. apparently.
then one day (i think was yesterday) i was thinking abt msn. how fake and realy it seems. 'virtual reality'. cos i was thinking of a person. and telling my sis abt it. and tt wasn't the first time i thought of it.
thow explained tt because it's virtual, ppl are able to let down their guard and crap practically alot and talk easily. cos of the nonexistence ties, it's easy to just lose it.
like what happened to me. how strange it is. to have thought that having to get to know . was the best thing in 2006 and abt 3 months later everything can just change. probably it didn't change at all, cos all was a fake and there were no ties no base no foundation to talk about etc etc. not to mention feelings. probably it did change becos it was all true, just that real reality that happens in real life took more precedence or smth.
anyway. i think i'm going to like end here now.
type too much le. first time after so long. probably abt a yr? more than tt even.
but anyway uni really sux.
it's damn stressful.
i miss my korean shows. hah. by the way.
changed the music on my blog again. and if u're listening, dun try to understand the words, you won't. dun just follow the melody either. listen. listen to the orchestra, the violin esp, the drums. and esp. the electric guitar.
damn nice.
somebody commented tt the font's really small. maybe i shall change my template one day. maybe. maybe one day i get super tired of the current one tt i have been using for so long alr. let's just see.
oh and by the way. uni totally sux.
♥reflected @ 11:14 PM
