Thursday, July 06, 2006 ♥
i was thinking a lot of stuffs.
until i was so confused. until i wanted to cry.
anyway.
thinking too much is just not good rite. ya.
the first thing that i was thinking about was yesterday. and one night ago. yesterday i was upset for my sis, sad for her that her shooting 'career' has come to an 'end' like this.
another thing was that my sis lost her ez-link card. i was frustrated cos i really couldn't help cos i noe so little abt the details etc.
thought abt one night ago..abt my sis and my mum. both complaining to me about their lives.
and felt really helpless and sad. that it's so unfair to my sis and my mum. and actually my dad too. sad that there can be pple like that. pple who treat others so badly, ppl with no heart. sad that humanity has become..
then i was thinking about myself. whether i am a good person or not. everytime i'm home, i would help my mum with housework. and yet i complain and be unhappy. even tho after a while i'm like really nothing. and times when i lend ppl stuffs and all. after that i would be like :(. but everytime i still do lend away stuffs. whether it's just tissue paper, or tutorials. and when ppl always ask me to help them do stuff and all. i do them.
but my doing of so many stuffs has not granted me like superb happiness or wat. and it's because i feel that ppl do not feel gratitude for me and always take for granted for wat i do and did.
now i'm thinking of that time during some talk or sorts. someone said that to lead you'll have to serve first.
so i guess i will not be a great leader or smth since i don't happily 'serve' pple. and i do not see why i shld help ppl (even tho i still do) when ppl don't 'serve' me or when they do not show gratitude at all.
and now i'm thinking i guess that's why i didn't hold on to role of ass class rep. one of the reason was that i couldn't work well somebody else, another reason was that ppl don't recognise wat i do. see how easily they forgot all that i've tried to do and did?
And now i'm thinking all wat i'm saying is so one-sided and biased. ok.
i was thinking just now wat defines a good and bad person. if a good person is one who has a lot of morals and stuff..i don't think such a person exist anymore. to live in this realistic world, being an honest person, being helpful and careful etc..it's like going to be hard. almost impossible. you'll never be able to live easily.
looking at the ppl ard me. i wonder if they are really truthful. wonder if they are actually all hypocrites.
again the best conclusion would still be: LIFE'S LIKE THAT.
i guess the reason i was thinking so much was that we are now doing the topic philosopy.
well.
i shldn't think so much abt crap stuff like this rite. bad me. bad me. i've been watching tv all day..and
HELLO! prelims is like less than a month away? wat am i doing? and yesterday esther was panicking cos she haven't managed to study finish smth.
and me? oh dear. oh dear. i haven't even started any revision. nothing at all.
and how to start?
well well well.
anyways.
i found an eye candy! haha!
not exactly la.. but well watever. haha.
eye candy! :D
now watch tv..
:P
♥reflected @ 6:29 PM
