Saturday, April 29, 2006 ♥
nickelback- savin' me
i like this song a lot. want to put it here but can't find the midi
(-.-)
i fell sick. yet i went to do the maths test. in the end. i failed it. and now. i have to go for maths sup. so now. i have sup class for every subject i'm taking. gp, maths, chem, bio and econs.
this is how lousy i am. damn it. :(
:'| and this is how sad it is. this is truth i'm facing. i'm not as hardworking as i thought, i can't do well in studies. and yet i can't do well in sports either. and also i'm not good in friendship stuff. and i have no sense of rhythm, i can't count. and the only thing i can do, is feel blue and being invinsible.
it's when u suddenly realise that you seem to have no where to belong. and you just want to retreat back to your safe self. in hope that you won't get hurt again.
and it's also when you know how fragile your own heart is, you don't want to risk it getting broken. so you hide and drink in ur own sorrow. thinking that no one would understand, and you won't listen to wat anyone else says.
it's not just abt studies.it's about everything. everything that i tried. not only guitar.
it's the utter disappointment.
maybe you would tell me that i have to high hopes. but i'm just scared of failing. failing myself, failing my parents' hopes, teachers' hopes. but most importantly, the future. every single step you take is important in some way.
and i noe tt i'm one super stubborn person. i noe i shld do this, shld change in watever way. but this is me. this is how i am. i can't keep forcing myself to think positive and all when i really feel unhappy about something and really want to be angry at tt someone or something.
in the end, i'd feel even more worse.
♥reflected @ 9:42 AM
