Thursday, February 16, 2006 ♥
for this whole week.i almost had no lessons at all.
cos saturday is the big day. the most chaotic day.
i hate it when pple do things at the very last second.
sometimes i do things like tt too..like when i study at the 12th hr...but i think i do still have some sense to plan or imagine for the worst. or at the very least, i do try to take note of wat tests are coming up and wat subjects are tested.
like wat my mum always say. when ur shit come then you want to go find toilet.(hokkien).or. at the last minute you hug the buddha's leg.(chinese proverb).
i want to say sorry to my parents. i really want to apologize to them for dragging them into this crazy thing.
even when i knew how much problems are involved, i blatantly suggested to help.
how old am i? thr out how many years of life, all the time, i drag my parents into any trouble or just anything. and everytime when my mum says i don't understand how hard it is to do stuffs etc, i really want to hide. i want to tell her. that. i REALLY noe. i noe. and i want to cry.
and everytime i see my father do stuffs. i see his hand. and i really want to cry.
but again. i can never resist to offer my help. like today. or rather offer my parents to help.
i'm naive. stupid. brainless.
i'm foolish too. and stubborn. my insides are like breaking down..i'm still holding on. past two nights i was really unhappy. but i just couldn't cry. i sat down there at the table, i wanted to cry my heart out. but then no tears came.
today.finally. now. i feel like hiding under my blanket and cry and cry.
it's like when u suddenly realise how little you have in the world, how little you can hold on to.
...
♥reflected @ 9:00 PM
