Wednesday, October 19, 2005 ♥
i HATE PW.
the worst thing ever is that you have to fight with your twin sister for the computer.
cos she's doing pw also. and come on all she wants to do is to amend the little changes for her op. and i haven't even had a chance tor ead the written report and i really need to redo my op.
damnation.
and when you have such a lousy comp.
no cd burner.no thumbdrive connection. pentium 1 only i think. and windows 98.
see. how laid back?
last time we didn't even have broadband. we only had it like from this year june onwards.
see.
and i'm damn pissed with ppl at school. at my class. guitar. teachers. and all.
i'm so worried about my results. worried for me and my class. but like my classmates care or even noe that i care so much for them? really.i've been thinking: why should i do so much stupid stuff for my class when they dun see, dun appreciate, dun understand?
why should i care so much for them when they don't?
it's not my job to do all those stuff too? so where is this responsible person?
i'm upset at this girl.who is supposed to be my friend.who has her so many other friends.who always neglect me. who always give so much excuses..who always overreact at stuff.
why is the world so full of pretence..so full of ppl with knives hidden behind their smiles?
i told sabbie i'm tired of being the kind-hearted, caring, responsible, trustworthy, reliable person..
but truly, am i actually one?
i tried hard to be cheerful in class...but nothing can be changed.they all in their own cliques. and i'm on my own. sometimes i try to just absorb tt fact and all, but really deep down inside, i dun like it. but no choice.
i was proud of guitar. and i stayed in ac for guitar.yet it disappointed me. xiujun disappointed me. joanne, jc and tania all disappointed me. but they themselves dun think so, they themselves dun noe. yes, they have done a lot, we appreciate all that, but they dun share. the workload, the fun of doing stuffs together. the meaning of ensemble is lost. so much for insisting the announcer to say guitar ensemble tt day the guys ran the relay. they can change it to guitar club.
sabbie and i both hoped that after the concert, things will change for the better. apparently not.i discovered i changed a lot too. in the first three months and before syf and all i was so cheerful and bright in guitar..but eversince the concert..i was unhappy.esp the times we 'had' 'practice' for concert..i practically cried almost everytime. but they will never understand.
sickening open house.
sickening fun-o-rama.
one day, you will just grow tired of everything. everything in the world.
i think it maybe is just because all these days after school i am so free me and my brain just linger so much..
friday we'll get back all the papers.
we can only hope for the best.
me in guitar is totally diff person from me in class.
i think wat made me me in class..which resulted in me only in class..is the existence of meixi on the first day i met sd3.the very first day.last day of orientation.
okay...
i will TRY to smile more..so tt i'll look less dao..
but i really think..that nothing will change.
♥reflected @ 11:14 PM
