Monday, August 08, 2005 ♥
today is quite a sad day for me.
Today is national day celebration in school...it's actually erh..quite boring. good thing is that it ended very early, at 9.30am. after the celebrations i had totally no idea what to do. cos.
on friday night, my new class rep asked me if there were any plans for the class today.so she wanted a class outing. so i msged the whole class to ask their opinion..and many told me they aren't free. jiayi told me tt it is not necessary to arrange any time, venue, what to do at all. and tt made me very confused. she told me to relax.i ask another persons for advice. and i finally decided to lay off, heck care, dun do anything and let nature take its course. so.yup. tt's why today, after the celebrations i ve totally no idea what to do. in the end i went off with tania, joanne and yen nee. then tania yennee and me went back to nanhua.nanhua has become different, unfamiliar and hostile to me. there's a guardhouse, hightech lock to the staffroom, and it's so foreign...
talked to mrs lim. the bio tcher who relieved us in sec 3 also gave me a lot of advice for jc life. after talking wang lao shi, i wasn't very happy so i left to meet my sis at clementi.
my sis and i went to the jap 'restaurant' to eat...wow very full..but the food wasn't very very nice kind of thing. it's very normal.
the final plan for class outing was 4 at orchard mrt station.
so we went home together first. i actually wanted my sister to go with me..so that i won't feel tt lonely..
but she couldn't..she has common tests this week..
so in the end i went alone to meet my classmates at orchard mrt station..was quite late.amazing..they were already there..
in the end..we simply walked and walked. pple who came: marilyn and weisheng, eunice n. and wee jin, jia yi and clarice,eunice s. and xiangning, and esther. serene and yanling came and left.eston also came and left.xinyi and aneesa thought of coming but didn't come. after a while, jiayi and clarice also left after a while. then marilyn and weisheng left to eat dinner. soon everyone was leaving. the whole outing was simply a group walking outing. we just kept walking at the Heeren.and i just kept following. i saw some x-nanhuarians..and was a bit stunned and 'disgusted' to see them...and when everyone was leaving i followed the wrong pple-xiangning and esther-they were actually going to take bus. but when i turn around,i couldn't find eunice and wee jin anymore. so in the end i was at a loss. i have no idea where i was. how to walk. where the mrt station was. in the end i just walked. i turned right and walked continuously. past takashimaya, past lucky plaza, past wisma atria, kept walking until eh? i finally saw the mrt station underpass sign.
but the damage was done.
i was so upset. so sad tt the outing, other pple were all so happy, and yet i was so sad, cos. i felt totally that i do not belong there. cos. i felt so stone and alone and blur and ...
i was so unhappy that i have no idea where i was. that in the end, i end up walking alone, totally lost.
that i dun even noe where i was when a pri schl kid might even noe.
well.
wateva.
can't be bothered anymore.
there's a lot of homework for me to do.
i have bio test econs test adn maths test to study.
still have to read the political and economical reading packages to read.
still have to do pw.
still have to do some gp module.
ah..no time no time!!!!!!!!!!!
♥reflected @ 9:27 PM
