Monday, July 04, 2005 ♥
i was thinking..how stupid and amazing it is. i have been in the same class with suphei since my very very first day of school in nan hua. together with her, we first entered 1/4 then both got switched into 1/3. from then on, every morning during ensembly, she has been standing in front of me ever since. all the while until the last day of school in nan hua. from 1/3 to 2/3 to 3/3 and 4/3.
only when we were in 3/3 then we became friends. wierd. we should have known each other for very long, yet only became good friends two years ago.
wierd.
i have been thinking and keep thinking of my life. in ac. my choice to stay in ac. my choice of not going another jc.
and hopelessly feeling some regret for staying.
i have always thought that i could stay in ac because of guitar ensemble, but since after syf, after our guitar outing, i always thought that the idea would not falter, but it did. and it could be because i wasn't hardworking enough.
i keep thinking that i should have followed what my father had told me to. go to njc and jjc. i should have followed what my classmates kept telling me: that acjc is not my place, that i don't belong there...that njc is where i should be, that i would be better off there.
yup yup.
and pple have told me. that i shouldn't look back anymore. because i can't do anything more. everything is fixed and i can't change anything. that the most i can do is try to accept my life here in ac. and make it good for myself. stop thinking negatively and think on the bright side. that acjc cannot be that bad for me.
it's not the school. the school's good.
it's me. i think.
argh...crap crap crap.
i ve also thinking that my sis should have come to ac with me. at least i'm quite sure that we will be in the same class, i will be her friend and she be mine. we would be even doing pw together...
hahaha.yup.
tomorrow's back to school. and back to the hectic life..even more hectic because i'll have to stay back almost everyday for guitar practice.
sianz.
maybe i should stop thinking. about anything. just concentrate on my studies. yes. that's the important thing. u have to decide how your own life goes in the end..i guess...
♥reflected @ 8:18 PM
